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Bite Size Morsels: French Dodgeballing Werewolves

2004-06-20 - 10:12 p.m.

Comic That Punched Me In The Gut The Most This Week: The ending of Runaways #16

Listening To: Annie Lennox, The Magnetic Fields

Quote: "I don't follow you. I can't put cassettes in a baby!" - Officer Clementine Johnson

Saw Harry Potter 3. THREE fucking times. I saw it on the Thursday night before it opened at midnight at the Chunky's in Franklin with Rick. I know, I know, I washed all the skank off when I left city limits. Marla Gibbs waited on us. It was a truly special event. Rick and I definitely had our fair share of nitpicks. I liked it much better the second time around when I saw it with my Dad and Ben. And by the third time I saw it, with Brooke, I was practically acting out down in front of the screen with a broken mop and a pillow taped to it standing in for Buckbeak. It was a sad, sad scene. The movie was great, with the biggest thing that stuck in my craw being the non-resolution to the whole Marauder's Map sub-plot. I liked the werewolf special effects. And yes of course I think Hermione is turning into one hot little English Toffee. And get off my back, you think so too. But don't tell Jodi I said so. I've been in the dog house enough this week. One of her oldest friends from high school is having a bridal shower and I threw a big fit because I wanted Jodi to stay home and watch Reno 911! with me instead of going to the Bridal Shower. Of course, she stayed home and watched it with me, but she hasn't let me hear the friggin' end of it all week. At this point, I wish she'd have just gone to the damn bridal shower and then I wouldn't have to listen to her bitch.

And now, for someone else's point of view other than mine for a change, I give you good people, Andrew Farmer on the Werewolf scenes in Harry Potter:

I'd say the werewolf was frightening enough, but for the purposes of Harry Potter, werewolves really have to be a force to be reckoned with - plus, he was just too spindly for my tastes. Not only was he spindly, but hairless and tailess. I think I should be up to designing all cinematic werewolves from here on.

He's right you know. He should be in charge. And now, to better illustrate what we're talking about, take a gander at this here picture of the Harry Potter werewolf on the bottom of the box:

See? That doesn't seem to frightening does it? Keep in mind, this couldn't be a more horrible misrepresentation of the werewolf. But, you know, if you spent a half hour looking on th internet and google for a fucking werewolf still from Prisoner of Azkabahn you'd have finally settled on the version too.

Went and saw Dodgeball with Kate the other night. It was some funny business. Ben Stiller is still needing to earn points back with me do to the dreckish Along Came Polly/Duplex dreck he's been doing, but this was pretty good. I mean, you got yourself Jimmy James, Warren Cheswick, Marcia Brady, William Shatner, Hank Azaria - it's pretty sweet. Although the Anchorman trailer is where all the real laughs are. Man, Fred Willard, Will Ferrel, Paul Rudd, and Steven Carell? Beauteous.

Now doesn't this seem like some good down home fun? Look at our Mr. James all decked out in yellow and goggles. That Mr. James. What a card.

Did somebody say they wanted to see a sexy picture of Punky Brewster? No? Well, I'll say it then. I want to see a sexy picture of Punky Brewster!

Done and done.

Monique is coming to town on Wednesday. I'm picking her up at the bus station, she's going to visit with Kenichi, and then we're off to Concord to see Nanny. Nanny's birthday is on Tuesday, and there's gonna be a mess load of Atlantis Killer Bees there (a.k.a. - all the women in my family) so I'm going on Wednesday instead. The original plan was that then Monique and I were going to hang out with Rick, then it morphed into Monique, Rick, Rachel and me, but since Rick got "Ditcher" stitched into his sweater-vest for the 73rd time this century, now it looks to be just Rachel, Monique and myself. With McLaughlin lurking about York as I write this, if we somehow located D'accord and Katie we could have ourselves a French Class reunion. But honestly, who would want something so horrible? Alceste and Marie Edwidge that's who!

- "Villain Cafard!"

- "Danga Danga!"

Oh man, that took me forfuckingever to find pictures of Alceste and Marie Edwige - so those of you that can appreciate them better. Speaking of French, I'll leave you all with some wise words from Officer Trudy Weigel of the Reno police department: "Au Bon Pain" - which is what a robot says if he wants bread.

It's been real,


ps - The worst part is this: I just wrote 4 friggin' entries in one night and I'm still gonna get comments from one of you fucking ninnies that says, "I want a new poll!!!! :) :)" And you know what? Then I'll have to piss on you.

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2002 - 2009 ZQF8

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