2004-06-20 - 9:37 p.m.

Did I already mention that I got The Pixies greatest hits and I love it like cookies and cream? Well if I didn't, I'm mentioning it now. It's damn good, and unless you're the coolest kid in school (like say Jimbo, or maybe Beth) there'll be a healthy amount of songs on there you're unfamiliar with. Oh, good God, not that Beth! Here, for the sake of clarity, if I say, "Beth", I am refrering to Eshelman, if I say, "Good one, Beth!", (with heavy stresses on the "G" and the "B") than I am referring to Jeneanne Garafalo's character in Wet Hot, if I say, "Beefy", then I am referring to Hayley's sister. If I say, "Stupid Fucking Beth", then I'm referring to Hayley's roommate. [Don't hold your breath on those last two, since this is probably the first and last time I'll mention those two] If I say, "The Carpenter", then I'm referring to Beth Davison. And lastly, if I say, "Princess Placenta", then I'm referring to work Beth. God. That was exhaustive. Anyway, Pixes greatest hits - buy it.

Guess which street is the most engaged street of them all right now? Give up? Oh come on, you're not even gonna guess? Maybe Bell St.? Nope. Bad guess. Try again. Appleton St.? Nope. There's a yard sale there (rain or shine!) this Saturday, but again, wrong. Yes, you in the back - Warren St.? Ding ding ding! All at the same time we find Hannah, Mad Dog, and Shannon all engaged. But not to each other in some weird communal pact they made as children. [Not to say that they didn't make some weird communal pact as children, but it involves them, Sharon Petell, Dawn Legassie, and Charlie McAllister, and I for one am not going into the godlessness of it on my online journal thank you very much!] Anyway, you heard it here first! Or maybe second! Or maybe you saw it on the New York Times website, which linked you to here, but however, whenever you heard it, Hannah "Banana" Smith is a-gettin' married! Rather soon too! This October. I asked her is she was just doing it to show up Tom and Kim. She didn't fully say yes or no, but I think she'd be stupid not to. Show them up that is. Although I'm not so sure she can top Tom and Kim in the "speaker" department. Beth is speaking at Tom and Kim's wedding. [Please refer to above chart to see what Beth I am speaking of] I'm sure Hannah will lose the "Smith" but as far as I know, she's keeping "Banana".

Hey, question for all of you kids and cats. Have you seen the new Road Rules? It's really rather X-Treme to be honest. So don't watch it if you have a heart condition. Or a FART condition. Ha ha ha ha. Anyway. There's a little tigress on it by the name of Jodi. And she's one hot little number, let me tell you! She's overly fond of green, but can you blame her?! It reminds her of photosynthesis! Mmmmm . . . photosynthesis. Anyway, in an only slightly different photo from the last one you saw, I give you: Jodi!

She loves me because of my fart jokes, not despite them!

Wait, how'd I turn this around? She loves me now? Ah, I won't ask questions, it'll only confuse the issue. And that's the last thing we want.

It's been real,

Isthmus

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