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Goateed Goaty McGoaterson Goads Goats

2004-05-15 - 8:35 p.m.

Scientific Experiment Of The Moment: Trying to go more than 10 days without soda

Listening To: Tom Tom Club, Cake, TH, Otis Redding

Quote:"Having a goatee is like drinking orange juice all the time." - Zach



Hey you. Yeah, you. What. is. UP?! I hate the phrase, "What's up?" Stupid phrase. Anyway. It's fucking pouring out right now. I think it's our first big thunderstorm of the year. I talked to Conner earlier this evening on IM, which is fitting, since he spent his first ever thunderstorm at 145 with me and Brad. Sounds like a place he'd spend his first thunderstorm.

So yeah, all that covering of the Floridian mish-mash is all over and I thank you all for the comments. He says with absolute disdain for all of your moth-bitten carcasses. The epilogue to that little tale (and by "tale" I mean, "Peter & Titie's Wedding") is the two of them spending their honeymoon in Boston and Ogunquit. They came by Rollinsford for the last weekend of their honeymoon. Chad, Rich, Brooke, Kyle, Kate, and Jahannah stopped by to mix it up with Peter and Titie. We played beirut and let Peter call the shots on the stereo, (with a mix Rich made for me thrown in for kicks). It was fun. As usual, with any visit to NH, Peter spent an ungodly amount of money at Bull Moose Music. I belatedly gave him he and Titie's wedding present from Monique and me. It was Freaks and Geeks on DVD, The Office Season 1 and 2 on DVD, The Magnetic Fields: 69 Love Songs Box Set, and Sex, Drugs, & Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman. I called it the "Entertainment Prize Package". I think that covered it well.

Chad shows his affection from one groom to another by feeling Peter up

Rich and Peter take time out to shout-out to the little people

After a pretty rockin' sockin' weekend, Peter informed me that Ben was passed out in the backyard with only a bag of chips, a blanket and Kenichi to keep him company. I didn't believe it. The camera proved me wrong.

Having recently patched things back up with Brad, I met him in Newburyport a few weeks ago so we could go see Bryan and Natalie perform at Open Mike night at a local bar. Brad and I arrived at the bar first and devoured some nachos in short order. I was so proud of us. Soon, the Slopp parade arrived with Caleb, Bryan, Natalie, and Bryan's friend (and K-Slopp's roommate) Pete.

Quite a few people performed but obviously we paid the most attention to Bryan and Natalie and Bryan and Peter. During lulls in the conversation Brad and I would merely poke K-Slopp with hot, sharp utensils. You understand, I'm sure.

Bryan and Natalie get extra special points since Natalie dedicated one of her songs to Brad and me. Plus, they both watch Alias. So there's that too.

I know it's not a very clear picture, but I'll be damned if it doesn't look impassioned. You gotta give 'em that - IMPASSIONED!

Meanwhile, the Slopps in the crowd look cooler than cool. Well, at least somewhat cool. That's the infamous K-Slopp and Brad chillin' like waaaaaaay-to-cool villains at the table taking in the Open Mike night

Last Saturday was spent in ManchVegas at Chad & Mackenzie's for a Cinquo de Mayo party, although technically, since it was on the 8th, it was more of an Ocho de Mayo party I suppose. But what you need to know is that Chad provided CHEDDARWURST. That man knows how to soothe the savage Zach, that's for sure. There was soooooo much food and lots o' drink. I know, my two favorite combinations. It was an eclectic bunch. Mike Soucy, his wife Janis, and their two kids Nicholas and Anthony showed up, Chad's friend Tipp (who our wildcat readers may remember as Gallagher's freshman roommate), Chad's cousin and her husband, and me and Ben. It doesn't sound like there was a lot of us, and well, there wasn't, but I thought it was the perfect amount. I know this sounds a little 1950's, but the girls stayed upstairs and talked about . . . I don't know, Brad Pitt, tampons, salad dressing, whatever it is girls talk about when they're alone, while the boys stayed in the basement drinking and playing cards. It was a good time. Mike Soucy won permanent points for regaling us with the tale of puking at Scott Aaronson's and letting John Dutton take the fall. Yeah - you can't write a script better than that. Eventually, after pinata's were broken open and far too many tacos wolved down, those that didn't leave passed out. And in the morning I awoke early and left to go back to Dover . . .

. . . so I could stop at Poco's in Portsmouth and get my mother a Mother's Day gift certificate at the literal last minute. And then proceed to forget it on the kitchen table in Rollinsford when I left for Concord. Funny that. The original plan was for me to pick up Nanny and bring her to my mother's in Tilton for the holiday. But she wasn't having a very good morning so we decided to have Mother's Day festivities at Hospice House instead. It . . . worked out surprisingly well considering all the family save the Bryar/Taylor's were there. All the cousins got along, which I suppose goes somewhat towards the theory that "So goes Zach, so goes the cousins . . ." I kept K-Slopp mostly pacified with a backlog of Fables issues, while Bryan, Natalie, and Barbie and I all theorized what fate would befall our beloved Bristows, Derevkos & Vaughns come May 23rd on the Alias finale. If only it involved the Tippins! Sigh. What's that Sydney? Trying to deal with sudden reappearances of family members thought dead or nonexistent? People, it's not as rare as you may think. Hell, it's the reason for a family party tomorrow. If only one of MY uncle's was as ice cold cool as Jack "Spy Daddy" Bristow!!! Anyway, Nanny was a trooper for the whole day, and while she was tired at the close of the hectic festivities, I know she was glad so many of us could come by.

Yeah, so I guess I lied back in this old entry, specifically #86. Apparently I can grow a goatee. Or at least attempt to grow one. I'm now several weeks in to one right now. It originally sprang up due to a losing bet with Kenichi (don't ask). But now I'm trying in vain to get the mustache portion to connect to the chin portion. It's getting there. Oh . . . it's getting there. And luckily, there's so much hair growing around the barren patch on my lower left chin that said barren patch is now obscured. So far it's been 85% for the goatee, 14% against, 1% confused. (Keep in mind, Hayley was polled, so that may account for that 1%) Having a goatee definitely takes some getting used to. Getting all that calamari caught in your new pushbroom can be a bit harrowing.

All this season/series finale business. Friends was OK. Nothing great. Frasier was good, but would have liked to see Lilith make an appearance. Survivor was alright, though I would have prefered Rob win, though now that he's marrying Amber, the money is locked up for him. I'm glad Rupert got a "consulation million" (and really, who gives a fuck if a million is a "consulation million" or not, it's still a million. They can call it "America's Most Popular Survivor" if they want, hell I'd take the "Helen Hunt Mayonaisse And Jalapeno Flavored Placenta Million" if it was really and truly a million dollars.) ER . . . is ER and I can't even fucking believe I still watch it, but deep down I still think that the last scene in ER, or at least Abby's last scene will be Dave showing up and saying, "Lisa! Forget that Johnny Johnson! Come with me! It was always us that were supposed to end up together!" and then he'll take her back to the Dave Cave in Wisconsin where they can play Stargate Defender and study for the SATs for all of their days.

I'm weird.

I got this old camera developed last week with no clue what was on it. [ And no, for those checking at home I still haven't gotten any pictures from a.) Annie b.) Kyle or c.) Peter ] Well, these two rather humorous pictures from this last christmas were on there:

Ben tried to communicate in vain with Jimbo, who . . . it seems . . . has some sort of oven mitt/helmet/frog skin on

Oh the hilarity. Ben, sporting a safari hat under a smashing Playmobil crown poses seductively with Tim, himself under a basket/hat and presenting Ben and me with our Christmas present: a NASCAR hot cocoa set stored in a decorative tire. That Tim knows us well. TOO well.

Did you hear? Kristen and Mike (a.k.a. - The Pietro's) are moving to Ohio. You know Ohio, home of everything fun and wonderful. Yeah, that Ohio. Anyway, they're throwing a going-away party for themselves on Memorial Day Weekend so hopefully we'll be making our way out there with a possible Brooke or Shannon in tow. Meanwhile, Kelly and Roy will probably meet us there. Hopefully, this time we can all keep our collective eyes on the pizza.

Meanwhile, with shift changes in the air at the Wallakers, and the impending opening of a third Wallakers being greeted by a giant yawn by the socially elite, Wilbur and Spider keep a watchful eye over all of our moves. Well, at least Spider does. Wilbur never comes out of his shell long enough to see shit.

Customer: "Wait, so are those real hermit crabs?"

Us: "Yes."

Customer: "I know. But I mean, REAL real?"

Us: "Yes. No batteries."

Customer: "Really?"

Us: "No. Not really. They're robots."

Customer: "I knew it."

It's been real,

Baba Yaga

ps - it seems one of our number has started their own journal here at diaryland! But I won't link to them until they are up and running. It wouldn't be fair. Besides, maybe it'll shame stagnant ol' Justin into writing another entry sometime this year.

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