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Holy Toledo Does Ohio Suck!

2002-08-17 - 9:04 p.m.

Yes, yes. So here we are. Mingling about West Nile Viruses and Polish Sausages. Here is the deal with the Mid West - seriously, a toll booth every 100 feet. Seriously. Not needed. And they're always weird ass amounts. Tolls for .35 or for .70, or my personal favorite - 3.85.

Ohio definitely has the won the award thus far of most hated state, though it knows that its distinction will be a fleeting one, as Utah is on the horizon. Well, not literally, as we are still in Illinois as I write this. Rockford, Illinois to be specific. Despite Ben calling it Rockport, Rockland, and Rockonia - it is RockFORD. Utica, despite its fame in one of the best Simpsons exchanges of all time (between Skinner and Chalmers and the pronunciation of "steamed hams") still has the distinction of worst town thus far (Though Valparaiso, Indiana tried its damndest to win that distinction for itself). We were stuck in a frog/hail storm outside of Utica, and while it had been a long time since we had seen rain, this was ridiculous. It was like a flash fucking flood. We had to pull over on the highway (as did everyone) and WAIT FOR THE STORM to finish. It was that bad. It was only one of God's dick attempts to keep us from reaching the Pacific. There was no place to stay in ALL of Utica - from the Red Roof Inn to the Happy Journey Chinese Spa. Tim refused to let us even check the Brick Tower because, I quote, "We will not stay at a Brick Tower - they ax you to death there." So, after a disasterous visit to the Utica Dennys, we got back on the road and decided to just KEEP DRIVING through the night.

"They must have seen YOU." - Ben, after getting into the car, to me, every time a Utica hotel would deny us service.

So we stayed up all night. Ben and Tim took turns cat napping, and despite 15 minutes here and there (parts of Angola, NY - by Niagra Falls, and Erie, PA) I have been up ever since I got up for work Friday morning at 6 AM. And we are all just now finally taking showers. At the swanky Rockford Best Western. We ate at an Iron Skillet this morning in Ohio. It was quite an experience. I took pictures.

And we were in Toledo for quite some time. The less said about it the better.

Sorry if this entry seems so disjointed. All I've had to eat all day since breakfast is a Heath Bar Blizzard from a combination McDonald's/Dairy Queen (also known as the only redeeming quality of the entire state of Indiana). I am running on fumes. I think a Steak House is in the plans.

Well, Tim is out of the shower now, and I'm chewing on my hand. Before I go - I want to mention how underwhelmed I was with Chicago. It was dirty, crowded, and had unbelivable traffic. And I couldn't find Abby, Carter, or Luka ANYWAY. We're not far from Wisconsin, and we leave early in the morn for the cheesiest badger state there is. I wish I knew where Megan Broadhurst was living in Wisconsin. After that it's Minnesota and then the Southern Most of the Dakotas. (That's "South Dakota" Monique and Fred)

Ok. Finishing the Patriot's 1st Half and we're gettin' ourselves some steak.

It's been real,


ps - "I love evil beaver!" - bumper sticker seen in Chicago

pps - "What are you doing?! Indiana isn't the Garbage State! New Jersey is!" - Ben, to me, after seeing me drop napkins at DQ, and then chasing the offending napkins around the parking lot

ppps - "Kinda smells like dead fish here in East Greenbush, New York." - Tim "Uh-oh! Goatman LOVES dead fish! We are so screwed." - Zach

pppps - "Zing!" - Tim, "Snap!" - Ben, "Buuuuuurrrrnnn!" - Zach

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2002 - 2009 ZQF8

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