2002-04-29 - 3:02 p.m.

Tim - remember that time in Junior English when all the girls turned on me (literally AND figuratively) and tried to devour my soul in one fell swoop?(*) And we still can't remember why? Well, it kind of happened again, and this time I know why. I ALLEGEDLY made a sexist comment in my last entry along the lines of "Girls smell. Animation good. Girls too stupid for Animation. Girls smell." Ok, ok, for the exact quote, you can just read the last entry. I knew when I wrote it that I was probably gonna get shit for it, and dagnabbit, I was right. Hell, I even had The Citizen(**) calling here this morning looking for a soundbite over the whole controversy. Of course, my soundbite ("They're probably all just having their periods!") probably only served to make matters worse.

So, in a less-than-noble effort, I'm going to try to at least present a dogwood branch of peace. Like I could find a damn olive branch on such short notice! So after sifting through the hate mail, and not-so-well-intentioned stinkbombs, I procured a few statements from some of the ovary-carrying gender and here's a sampling of them.

-"I liked Ducktales. Lee and I would watch it every day after school. It was definitely my favorite. They wore no pants." - Rachel G., from Massachusetts

"We even added Webby and Ms. Beakly to the Disney character stable in order to diversify our demographic for both boys AND . . .the other gender. The one that doesn't buy G.I. Joe." -Disney Employee, circa 1987, in his pitch that would eventually lead to the creation of the cornerstone of the multi-platinum Disney Afternoon(***)

-"I liked Garfield because I like cats and I also eat lots of lasagna. Muppet Babies made me laugh too because not only did they go on cool adventures, but kids at school used to say I looked like Skeeter." - Kate B., from New Hampshire

-"I loved Dr. Katz and The Critic. The manatee skit on Dr. Katz is a personal favorite of mine, as my friends here at school call me 'Hannahtee' and 'Sea Cow' every chance they get . . .I hate my friends." - Hannah E., from New Jersey

~ DR. KATZ: PIMP-AT-LARGE ~

-"Honk, honk, braap! Me like Cartoons too! Just 'cause me am girl doesn't mean me not like funny ha ha bright color shows! Me like Brak, and Family Guy, and even Simpsons! Simpsons funny cause they yellow!" - Monique P., from New York

-"I like Yellow Submarine, 'cause the Blue Meanies freak me the fuck out. I also like Powerpuff Girls, 'cause Him freaks me the fuck out. I also like Bugs Bunny, 'cause Yosemite Sam freaks me the fuck out." - Andrea B., from Maine

"Helloooo Girls!"

HIM - Using his evil androgyny to freak kids the fuck out for over 25 Years!

-"I always liked Nickleodeon." [That's not a show, it's a channel] "Oh. . .well, I'm gonna keep it as my answer." [You CAN'T. Not even all the shows on Nickelodeon WERE animated!] "I don't care. You asked me a question, and that's my answer." [You make my brain bleed.] "I'll 'brain' YOU!" - Sandra, from Another Planet

So there. I was proven wrong. Girls DO like and appreciate cartoons. I am sorry for my earlier remarks and can only hope this made things slightly better.

It's been real,

Cheetara

(*) - {Let it be known that Sharon Petell, when the chips were down, and the rest of her estrogen-pumping gender turned on Zach, she stayed true and loyal and simply smiled and looked off into space}

(**) - {"Haven't I ALREADY TOLD YOU PEOPLE?! I wouldn't wrap THREE-DAY old fish in that yellow journalism rag they call The Citizen!" - Rick Morten, Lakeporterican-At-Large}

(***) {Which, while solidifying its popularity with the addition of "Chip 'N' Dale's Rescue Rangers" and "TaleSpin", suffered irreparable damage after "Darkwing Duck" and "Goof Troop" reared their respective craptastic heads at viewers}

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