2008-08-28 - 6:08 a.m.

�����Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiitaminute . . .

�����I'm THIRTY?!?!?!

�����<_checksbirthcertificate_href>Zach< / checksbirthcertificate> Damn you made-up html codes!! You've never lied to me! That means . . . I really am 30! But where are all the canolis? Where's the rollercoasters and tacos and Maura Tierneys (clones on weekdays, obv.), and laser pointers, and hoverboards, and bengal tigers on flying carpets? I think I ate too much aluminum foil as a kid so to dangerously and deceptively alter my prescience.

�����Ah well. Here's to 30 more glorious years in the cloud keeping industry! Wait a minute - then I'd be SIXTY! WAIT A MINUTE! I'm not a cloud keeper! I think I would have noticed all the care bears running around like demented rabbits covered in skittle paint, don't you??

�����I act 30 right? Right? ROIGHT?

Look at those silly strings of defeat! Ryan and Brad ambushed stringed me to within an inch of my life. Luckily, I measure my life metrically, so they didn't even know what they were dealing with. Also, I had my Talking Heads pin from Andrea to protect me. My overturned, "I Love My Cat" ribbon from Monique did nothing to protect me! In fact, looking back, it was probably acting as some sort of tracking device. Sigh, I miss Alias. Also, look at that fist of rage I'm sporting. Watch your back Gilbert and Ouellette! I'm a regular Ruth Buzzi standing there! I'M A REGULAR RUTH BUZZI STANDING THERE!!

����It's been real,

�������Z

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