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Julia Child Died For Your Sins

2004-08-16 - 10:40 a.m.

For The Record Books: Zach getting 8 tricks out of 9 (NINE!) in Estimation last Friday night

Listening To: Rushmore Soundtrack

Quote:"If I ever get to name a new firecracker / variety of ecstasy, 'Atomic Tangerine' it'll be."-Spidey

Ok.

Ides of August. And you know what they say about the Ides of August, do you not? They say . . . it's the MIDDLE of August! Groan. What a start.

Anyway. Here we are. The car situation has been slightly bettered in that I have a car - temporarily - to drive my ass to work and do errands (i.e. - check on the level of non-construction going on at Andrea's, visit Nanny, go to Hannaford to buy Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs, etc.) [Monique - I apologize if that wasn't the proper use of "i.e."] Remember when Hannaford first starting nosing its way into our lives (and hearts)? I do. Mid 90's. I'd say '95-ish. Maybe '94. But I feel strongly that it was '95. And we didn't trust it at ALL. We were all, "Who's this Hannaford chum?", "Are they trying to sway our loyalty from Star?" (The Market, not the HellBeast at the FRM), "How can they be so cheap without some Double Coupon scam?" Nope. We didn't trust 'em. But now that we all realize what cold-hearted monsters Shaws has become, I whole-heartedly pledge allegiance to Hannaford. So yeah - Don and my Mom let me borrow one of their transportation vans for 2 weeks while I look for a new vehicle. My Dad? He's been helping by calling me and continually reminding me to just "cold call" dealers and say, "Hey jack, ya got a set of wheels I can afford?" Sigh.

It's almost time for my birthday. Did you hear? I tend to keep that info on the disabled list. Well, the rumors are true. Big bash at the end of the month. If you're reading this, you're invited. Unless you're one of the 6.2 million freaks who find me through Google because I made the tragic mistake of signing an entry "Chi Chai Monchan" one time. It's a SanRio character and apparently you "kids" with "your intranet" absolutely fucking love hunting down ol' Chi Chai Monchan. And now I see how I've made the situation MUCH better by typing his name twice. Hmmmmmm . . . how could I make it even BETTER?! I know!

Oh it's true. He truly is a funky little monkey. It really helps to wash out that bad taste of Deery Lou from your mouth too. You know, if you were eating the Cheerful Fawn in the first place. And, let's face it, you probably were.

What the FUCK are you talking about?

Yeah. So anyway. I'm sure that'll definitely cause less hits for all those Hello Kitty loving freaks. But yeah - I think my party is gonna be a lot of fun. And while I've given up my dream of there being a keg of blueberry beer, you can bet your sweet Aunt Fanny that there will be blueberry beer in some fashion at that there shindig. [This is assuming your Aunt Fanny is a.) sweet and b.) the betting kind] And we'll definitely have more room than usual for people to sleep over, but tents are seeming like not that far-fetched of a possibility anymore. What was it Hearst once said, "You bring the Club Crackers, I'll provide the tents!" I may be paraphrasing. I may also be a fool to think more than 3 people will get that joke. Oh, and it seems the ever-elusive, Hurricane-chasing Hal-Y will be attending the party after all. Until she changes her mind tomorrow that is. Well, I'm glad Hayley can make it. Now I won't have to threaten to publish these embarrassing photos I have of her from Market Square Day:

GRWWWAR! ME GIANT BRAIDED GIRL!! ME LIKE LITTLE YELLOW DRESS GIRL!! HOLD STILL LITTLE YELLOW DRESS GIRL WHILE I FLATTEN YOU WITH THE PALM OF MY ENORMOUS HAND!

Now see, this one's just funny because you know Hayley's fallen asleep but due to her cartoonishly stitched on eyeballs, you can't tell. And these poor children are using the opportunity to sneak by before she clubs them and eats their bones

Oh wait. I said I wouldn't publish those pictures didn't I? Whoops. Well, my delete key is broken, so it's too late now.

Brooke and I went to La Festa on Saturday after I got out of work (and made sure to check on the non-construction in York). La Festa used to be even more conveniently located in the days of yore. Not that it's moved. But Brooke has. She used to be able to walk there. But she's moved to Portsmouth into Kyle and Tim's apartment, so La Festa is the "old neighborhood" for Brooke now. It's always good to people watch in La Festa since it seems to attract the cream of the weird crop. And it didn't disappoint this time, that's for sure. But we didn't mind, since we were too busy enjoying the blueberry beer (with fresh blueberries poured in too! Ack! I thought I died and went to blueberry heaven! But I was kinda sad at the same time that heaven looked just like La Festa, and not the WNYX newsroom as I'd always hoped) Anyway, the food was good - as always.

And please people, for the love of Zeus, check out Spider-man's review of Crayola Crayons. Part 1 & 2 are here and Part 3 is here. It's fucking hilarious. Chances are I've already IM-ed it to you. It's where the quote at the start of the entry came from. That's nowhere near the funniest quote, but most of the real good ones were too long. Check it out. Or you're disinvited from my birthday party. Unless your name is Tracey. Then you were never invited to my party in the first place. Beeee-yotch.

It's been real,

Marvin K. Mooney

ps - New Poll! The old poll's results are in! I asked you all Who's been trying to Kill me while I take a Shower? I'll give you all this. You're nothing if not predictable. And I hate you all for it. Anyway, 3rd place went to someone I wasn't even sure was going to get 1 vote, let alone the 3 that he did get: Arn Tellem, (not-so) super sports agent, with 11%. 2nd place was a tie between Count Chocula and Sharon, Lois & Bram - both with 4 votes and 14% of the vote. I gotta give you guys credit. I'm happy that the thought of Sharon, Lois, Bram, and perhaps that giant elephant were tiptoeing into my house with thought to kill me whilst I shower. Good stuff. Well, that's it . . . what? 1st place? Oh . . . right. You fuckers. With 46%, apparently THIRTEEN of you felt that The Phantom of The Muppet Show was trying to kill me. Well, I'm guessing I'll have the last laugh when they find my dead body in the bathroom covered in midnight blue felt and some fangs. Well, I suppose I won't be laughing much. Since I'll be dead and all. Go vote. I can't think straight with all this impending doom. Just go vote.

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