2003-01-15 - 8:31 p.m.

Ok, well, yes. Here we are. Sporks in hand. Looking down the barrel of 2003. Janvier fun all around. I'm thinking too fast and trying to type even faster. I'll tell you what's trying - not having consistent computer access. I set up Ben's computer in my room (a.k.a - The Dust Bowl) but we haven't hooked it up to the cable modem yet. It involves twine, and wax, and mice on motorcycles and I am not Mr. Techno Gyro Fix-It like Ben, so he is going to do it. Let's have a paragraph about the house ok? Ok.

So the house is a lot better now. It is. This last weekend we really went to town on it. Well, I did for all of Friday. My Dad had come down and instead of finding and buying a good car like we had hoped, the morning boiled down to a test drive of a Buick Century (right), a super tense fight in the snowy driveway of 482 Silver Street and finished with a reconcilatory breakfast/lunch at McDonald's (a sort of "Brunch", nay "Brench" if you will) and we parted on better terms than we started, both glowing with new vim and vigor in our search for a car that wouldn't make me look like I was in a clown car, or perhaps so Nelson Muntz wouldn't laugh at my choice of automobile (i.e. - Dodge Neon), nor a car that could be legal to drive on Winnipesaukee (i.e. - Buick Century) And let's not ever speak of the Chevy Corsica again shall we? I thought this was a paragraph about the house? So yeah, I moved the bookshelf in and all my books with it. We hung the DVD/Video rack up and populated it with movies from Ace Venture to Young Frankenstein (that would have worked better if I owned Zoolander). We hung various and sundry framed jobbies up (Scotland P.A. / Maura Tierney one being the most prominent). I swept / vaccumed / mopped / swiffered the upstairs hardwood floors. Yes the swiffer is as much fun as one would believe, but I think I got a little too trigger happy with the bleach gun affixed to the Swiffer. It hurt my nostrils when I inhaled for the rest of the day. Strangely, we get better reception in our backyard shed than we do anywhere in the house. So I held court in there for much of Friday and parts of Sunday whilst Ben tinkered around with his grandfather's antique snow blower. I even touched base with that hermetically sealed hermaphrodite hermit Fred Robie who confirmed that Family Guy would be coming out on DVD in April. Now that's one honey of a ham. So yeah, in general, the house is much more livable now. It still has a hell of a long way to go, but it's getting there.

The first people that saw the new phase of our swinging abode were Rich, Liz, and Jimbo. Liz and Jimbo met me at the mall after I got out of work on Saturday. After a quick trip to Smiley's to get beer we made our way to the hinterlands of Rollinsford. Which is the only kind of land IN Rollinsford. We waited for Ben and Rich with baited breath for several hours while they were, unbenkownst to us, holding court with Ryan Pelchat and Andy Cardinal at Ye Olde Soda Shoppe in LA. [Let it be known that I have now used the phrase "hold/held court" twice in the same entry, thus barring me from using it again for 5 (five) entries - also, that's twice the Soda Shoppe has been brought up in the same amount of entries. And yet Jackie French was mentioned neither time. Well, I mean, NOW she's being mentioned. But only in a way to say that she's not being mentioned. You know? Oh fuck you all] So yeah, I had fun. We played cards, and beirut, and touch Jimbo on the nose. Well, only Ben played that last one, much to the consternation of Jimbo, or "Brench" (or even Bridgette) as he is known in some circles. I thank Peter Farmer for his infinite wisdom and kindness for teaching us Estimation and for all the joy that it brings the world. Ben got drunker than a really drunk skunk and we had breakfast at ol' reliable Robin's place Sunday morning. Mmmm, mmmm, good.

So yeah, Kate is shooting me some scorpion looks so I suppose I oughta get back to work. But first - some quick comments. What I've been reading: "The Book of Ratings" by Lore Fitzgerald Sjoberg. The "o" in the last name has those funny little dots on top. This book makes me pee. I love it with all my heart. 7 stars out 7. I thank Becca for turning me on to it, and Hannah before her for buying it. "The Tenacity of the Cockroach" by The Onion A.V. Club. This is an EXCELLENT book. Interviews with fringe celebrities. Such a varied group. One of my new favorite books. Interviewees include Alan Moore, Andy Richter, Conan, Chuck Jones, LOTS, LOTS, LOTS with David Cross and Bob Odenkirk (though much of theirs is depressing to read, oddly enough), Bob Barker, Michael McKean, and even Dr. Demento! Hoo-ray! 9 stars out of 8. Andrea let me borrow "David Borning", by Daniel Clowes, the author of "Ghost World". It's good, great even, but quite (expectedly) fucked up. So I say it's 5 stars out of 6, only because of the possibility of freakier dreams than usual. I'm also reading "The Lovely Bones" by Alice Sebold, which while very good, is equally scary and freaky is also impossible to put down. OH YEAH - and Lateriann? You are fucking psycho, so I'm not too upset about you going home. And Beth S.? You fucking suck. My feelings on you are well documented. I'm glad they kicked your stank ass mole off the island. Yeah, been watching Scotland, PA over and over again too. Have I ever mentioned it? It's a good movie. You should watch it.

Oh yeah. So 1993 Jeep Grand Cherokee. Dark Green. That's what's coming this way I guess. I haven't technically SEEN it yet, but I own it. So you know - there's that. Going to LA to get it tomorrow. I still haven't written the big "CAR" entry that I want to. Argh. Soon, soon. So little time. And I haven't even gotten to use my license for anything fun yet. No one will ID me, and I haven't even had time to relish the thought of not having to feign epilepsy just to board the Harbor Princess with a Non-Driver's ID. I knew I'd get that Harbor Princess joke in there somewhere.

Let's all wish Brett and Monique good luck as they make the big move today from Brooklyn to . . . another part of Brooklyn. Yeah for them! Yeah for another part of Brooklyn!

Dammit - I forgot to get my film developed. Double dammit ! Ok, sorry no pictures. Catch you on the flip side. (And by "flipside", I mean "in hell".)

It's been real,

Struthio Camelus

ps - Oh, ok - just one pic:

Flying Fighting Space Ostrich-tastic!

pps - I got Fred to play Joust with me for 3 1/2 hours one time by simply "forgetting" to tell him that there's no ending.

ppps - In the time that I finished writing this entry to when I finished actually editing it, Kate and I polished off a mini-chocolate cake. And by "polished" I mean inhaled. There were pink roses on the frosting. Edible ones. I hope.

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