2007-01-18 - 10:17 p.m.

1. In the very first edition of Stuff & Things, entitled (appropriately enough), "To The Bee-mobile!", who, of the following, does not get name checked?

A. Frederick
B. Helen Hunt
C. Ricky
D. David Byrne

2. How many entries did it take me before I ranted about my irrational fear of earwigs?

A. 2
B. 4
C. 17
D. 134

3. Which of the following is not a real entry title?

A. Sepia Decimals
B. Jack Bristow For President
C. Voicemail Vixens Vex Voles
D. Don't Blame Me, I Voted For Burr

4. Who was responsible for the following quote: "I don't like cookies with boobs."

A. Hannah E.
B. Shannon H.
C. Kate
D. Monique

5. Who is routinely refered to as, "that good-for-nothing goat fucker!" on my site?

A. Jimbo
B. Tracey
C. Helen Hunt
D. Fafu

6. In the entry enititled, "From Lilac To Beech To Birchwood And Back!", who was the only person that didn't fall in the murky swamp after a drunken Bike Weekend excursion?

A. Tim C.
B. Zach
C. Liz
D. Ben

7. Who's wedding was chronicled in the entry, "I Stole Your Peanut M&M's"?

A. Chad & Mackenzie
B. Hannah & Brian
C. Bryan & Natalie
D. Peter & Titie

8. Found in an epilogue to the epic Barley Pub story found in "Rich Presher Will NOT Buy Your CD", 482 Silver experiences a borderline gas leak. What did Ben and I stay up watching until the furnace guy arrived?

A. Throw Mamma From the Train
B. Follow That Bird
C. Kingpin
D. Clue

9. Which of the following people, have not contributed either an entire entry, or a story/review for an entry?

A. Coty
B. Tim C.
C. Kate
D. Ricky

10. Where did Secret Crush work?

A. Express
B. The Movie Theatre
C. Macy's
D. The Chocolate Store

11. Who said the following, "So you having your bbq or not? Because I have gay weddings to schedule!"

A. Rachel
B. Roy
C. Hannah E.
D. Andrea

12. In the entry, "Now, When I Worked At the 99 . . .", who was accused (rightfully so) of forcing a post-Red Sox game, drunken Zach to drink water out of bowls? [Like. A. Dog.]

A. Coty
B. Jimbo
C. Fred
D. Jeff

13. In the entry, "Who Needs Hemlock When You've Got Rootbeer?", what did Dottie claim the "B.B." stood for in her fictional pony farm, "The B.B. Ranch"?

A. Barnyard Bathtime
B. Big Barn
C. Brick Brick
D. Bobby Bob

14. What was the name of my nemesis that worked at TCBY at the mall and silently glared at me when I took the bus?

A. Tammy
B. Val
C. Eileen
D. Star

15. Which of the following Red Sox players have not had an entry named after them?

A. Brian Daubach
B. Gabe Kapler
C. David Ortiz
D. Jason Varitek

16. Which of the following, chronicled in "Trans-Atlantic Crisping For The Sake Of Science", was a flavor of chips (or crisps) that Hannah sent to me from England?

A. Slow Roasted Lamb with Mint
B. Kalamari with Lemon and Dill
C. Sausage with Roasted Red Pepper
D. Oriental Pork with Thyme

17. What was the staple of every Alias party that was ever held?

A. Pumpernickel bread
B. Diet Pepsi
C. Vegan Cupcakes
D. Twizzlers

18. In the entry, "The Matriculation Of China Bear", who is "China Bear"?

A. A coded name for Frederick
B. Kenichi
C. A Shi Tzu helper dog that Monique fell in love with
D. It's never explained who China Bear is

19. What female rocker am I always convinced I see at bars in the Seacoast region?

A. Tina Weymouth
B. Debbie Harry
C. Kim Deal
D. Michelle Phillips

20. Which of my entries has been read the most times (not including quotes)?

A. Pizza, Hells Angels, & Old Skool Nickelodeon
B. Toothache
C. Cleaning Up All The Vomit
D. The Ghost Of Fred Rogers

21. In "I Guess I Was Absent On Ribbon Passing Out Day", what movement do I claim the Hologram-colored ribbon signifies?

A. Anti-Ziggy Stardust Sentiment
B. Help Dr. Sam Beckett Find His Way Home
C. Providing Zach With Hologram-y Stickers
D. Cloning Hot Actresses Named Maura

22. I entitled an entry, "I Threw A Dolphin In The Fire". But did I, in fact, throw a dolphin in the fire?

A. Yes - but it was a tragic accident
B. Yes - and it was entirely on purpose
C. No - it was a stupid rumor that people actually were dumb enough to believe
D. No one will ever really know.

23. Who said the following sentence to Peter, Zach, and Andrea?: "Don't worry, I'm going to be with you guys when it comes time to 'Flip the Bitch'!"

A. Tim C.
B. Jeff
C. Coty
D. Jimbo

24. When visiting Boothbay, as told in "Maine Moxie . . . I Hate Moxie", and forgetting my proper forms of ID, Liz and Abby came up with what (eventually aborted) plan to get me on the Reggae booze cruise?

A. Say I was from Canada
B. Say I got a DUI and insurance rates stopped me from getting a new ID
C. Claim I had epilepsy so I couldn't get a driver's license
D. Speak no English

25. There is an entry entitled, "Dan Hole Pond, We Hardly Knew Ye". Where is Dan Hole Pond?

A. Rapid City, South Dakota
B. Sanford, Maine
C. Rockford, Illinois
D. Tuftonboro, New Hampshire

Please e-mail your answers to zqf8(at)yahoo(dot)com

Hope you enjoyed.

The winner WILL win a prize.

And it will be a cool prize.

It's been real,

Herbie Stempel

ANSWERS

1. D. David Byrne. DB was not mentioned in my first entry. My hate of Helen Hunt was a flag I flew early and often though.

2. A. 2. I'm surprised it even took me THAT many entries to talk of my hate/distrust/fear of earwiggery.

3. B. Jack Bristow For President. I guess this was a bit of a trick question, no? But it's true. Most all of you thought Sepia Decimals was not the real entry title. But it was. Oh, but it was.

4. C. Kate. Kate herself doesn't remember any cookies with boobs and even if she did, she doesn't seem to know why she'd hate them so much. But it's true. She said it. The quote page never lies.

5. B. Tracey. Tracey is, by all accounts, a "goat fucker" of the highest order.

6. C. Liz. Nope. Liz didn't fall in the swamp. All the guys did though.

7. B. Hannah & Brian. The title refered to Rick's stolen peanut m&m's, but the bulk of the entry talked about 'Hamna & Brain' and their marital bliss in the greenhouse.

8. B. Follow That Bird. Wow. Very few people got this. I thought Clue and Kingpin would be too obvious.

9. D. Ricky. Coty told us of his trials in a southern Cali convenience store drunken adventure. Kate told us about midnight fire alarms in Kittery. T.C. reviewed the movie "Home on the Range" for us. Ricky? Did nothing but sit there wallowing in his own feces. And such.

10. D. The Chocolate Store. Secret Crush made a practice of not-so-secretly crushing my heart as much as possible at the Chocolate Store.

11. C. Hannah E. Apparently Hannah had some gay weddings to attend. And apparently my BBBQ had the potential to conflict.

12. C. Fred. Frederick fed me water like a dog. Right after I lost my cell phone to a Boston cabbie. Man, was I drunk. I slept with my pants AND shoes on that night.

13. D. Bobby Bob. There is no follow-up explanation to anything Dottie did or does.

14. D. Star. Who also had a STAR tattoo - in both the SHAPE of a STAR and the LETTERS "S-T-A-R".

15. D. Jason Varitek. Daubach, Ortiz, and Kapler all had entries, in that order, with their names in the title. V-tek did not.

16. A. Slow Roasted Lamb with Mint But wouldn't kalamari chips be divine?

17. D. Twizzlers. Man, we killed a LOT of twizzlers during Alias parties.

18. C. A Shi Tzu helper dog that Monique fell in love with. Even though Monique got his question WRONG.

19. C. Kim Deal. Oh sweet, sweet Kim Deal.

20. A. Pizza, Hells Angels, & Old Skool Nickelodeon. I don't know WHY this is the most read entry, maybe because of all the Bike Week stuff? Who knows?

21. B. Help Dr. Sam Beckett Find His Way Home. Awww, this one made Fred & Coty cry.

22. B. Yes - and it was entriely on purpose. Burn dolphin baby, burn!

23. D. Jimbo. You can always count on being safe as safe can be when you're in Jimbo's soft hands of safety

24. B. Say I got DUI and my insurance rates went up. Although epilepsy HAD been in the running until the last minute.

25. D. Tuftonboro, New Hampshire. Dan Hole Pond is only about an hour and 30 minutes north of Dover.

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