2006-02-27 - 9:30 p.m.

Hey all. As usual, I promised an entry and poll results by a certain date and I adhered to that promise! Give or take a week. Or two. Shut up. I'm the one trying to make gold out of fool's gold here! Hmmmm . . . I really need to take a refresher course on clever metaphors. Man, these opening paragraphs are getting to be like volcanic mush. Hmmmm . . . maybe they�ll be offering a simile refresher course too . . .

I know what you're all hoping. It's true. I really know. You're all hoping, "After 250 + entries and almost 4 years of all this Stuffery and Thingery, perhaps THIS will finally be the entry where Zach displays his anecdotal & poetry prowess!" Well, you would be in luck. Sure, I've had some anecdotes here and there, but now I got some pics and I got some business to take care of and we gonna be doin' it up - some of it poetry style. I knew you'd be excited. I just knew it deep down in my art deco heart! (And . . . we have title!)

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My Art Deco Heart

I'm in an armory
Who is ever in an armory?
I'm in an armory
And some of the boat chemicals dry out my lungs

But when I go back out to the van
To restock my supplies and grab some water
I slow my pace to take in the pillars
Built in the 1930's but with modern colors

They're Art Deco
Or at least what I understand Art Deco to be
They keep the armory in a skyward way
Even though it's snowing outside

Above the pillars is a plaque
Commemorating the Challenger and Christa McAuliffe
Now I feel like I've stayed here too long
Like I've stayed here way too long.

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Frozen Subscription

I can't think of enough swears to entail
The despair of how much my friend fails
If she keeps reading People
I swear on a steeple
I'll stab her and then go to jail

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A Japanese Line

I had already finished cashing out the downstairs register but I found myself lingering behind the counter so I could talk to Joyce and Chase a little bit longer. The Dakine order was due in the morning and we were discussing my repeated attempts to try to get some shirts from Dakine in the past and how they had been unintentionally, yet repeatedly, thwarted. This time would be different I pledged to them. I wasn't even all that crazy about some of the new t-shirt styles they were offering, but my new found vigor towards the whole endeavor was enough to give me the ambition to tread back up stairs - 2 stairs at a time! - to finish the final cash out. As I bounded up the stairs a Japanese girl was trying to maneuver her way into the door while holding her pair of skis and getting her small frame thrown around by the dusky wind outside. Somehow, I hadn't made it past the halfway mark on the stairs as I took this all in. When she finally got inside, knocked the snow off her boots, and got a better handle on her black and green Atomics, she realized that all her hair had been mussed to the front of her face because of the wind. She brushed it out of the way and realized that I had witnessed her small 10 second ordeal. She looked slightly embarrassed. I felt embarrassed for being the one that made her feel that way. It felt like 2 days passed in 20 seconds. She smiled a sort of "oh well" smile. I told her I liked her skis. She said thanks. I wasn't lying to her. I really did like her skis.

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Haiku For A Websplasher

What? A Websplasher?!
My heart beats ever fonder
Aquatic Spidey!

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Stop Making Wookies

I love this so much it's a sin
It skates circles in my mental rink
It's truly the yang to my yin
You know you want it - here's the link.

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Happy NR S3 Eve!

NewsRadio Season 3 comes out on DVD tomorrow. And part of me feels so very vindicated. Part of me feels that it will help me feel less intangibly bitter to such wildly diverse groups as Helen Hunt, Axl Rose, Mormons, the Dallas Cowboys, Tracey "Goatfucker" Lundgren, my shitty car with it's shitty non-stereo, my glasses - so old that charity wouldn't want them, Dick Cheney, NBC, FOX, ABC, Quakers, Mike Myers (the actor not the pitcher or the serial killer), Meineke Muffler, Aerosmith, Dennis Miller, Skating With Celebrities, earwigs, broken corkscrews and Shell Gas Stations. And you know what? It will help. It WILL. My NR means more to me than some friendships. And that's not normal. In the least. But it's the truth. And I'm not always so good at telling the truth. Maybe that's why it sounds so strange.

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It's been real,

Badtz-Maru

A Paragraph/Stanza

I slide this slippery slope with you

I don't want it to stop

No wait, I take that back

Now and again I want it to stop

Even though I'm the one that's supposed to like rollercoasters

I think secretly you do too
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pps - New Poll! The results of the last poll, "Who is your Valentine 2006?" totaled thusly: Tied for 3rd place with 10% and 4 votes each were "Gerald Von Cooperburg" & "Jimbo"! Tied for 2nd place with 6 votes and 15% each were "Kim Kelly" & "Kenichi"! And the blue ribbon finish, with 8 whopping votes and 20% of the votes goes to "Jack Bristow"!!! That's certainly who my Valentine was! And now . . . New Poll!

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