2005-07-28 - 8:54 p.m.

Where was I? Oh yeah. Not here. For like, ever and ever. Heroes on a half shell. Or something. Turtle Power. Or something.

There was this time, one time, right after the 4th of July holiday, that I ended up at Lake Waukewan with Peter's family. Ben was off on one of his 874 vacations that he's taken in the last 2 months, so he wasn't around. Which, at this point, is like saying Hoffa wasn't around. Peter's aunt, his mom, his grandmother, and eventually his dad, were joined by Peter, Titie, interminently Andrew, Evan, and myself. It was quite nice to just sit back and relax and do nothing. When I left work that Saturday (in Titie's car, which made it my first time driving a convertible - hot!) Matt had just given me a bunch of fresh fish that he had caught off the coast of Portsmouth. Cod, Haddock, and the like. But how was I to keep it cold? But of course! A fish bucket! So I stopped at ol' Patrick's and strong-armed my way into a fish bucket. Steph let me "borrow" one (which I'm still working on giving back) and Rick was so bamboozled my by sudden appearance demanding fish buckets I'm thinking he still isn't sure what was going on. It was past dinner by the time I got to the cabin. They had already started making the corn on the cob and lobster with help from the Bayou Classic that Titie and Peter had just bought. Apparently they were so impressed from Thanksgiving that they couldn't help themselves. It was great to see Evan again, who I hadn't spied since the wedding. Andrew and I took turns regaling our audience with tales of NYC and dentist visits (Andrew) and being trapped in Liar's Paradise with only my wits about me (well . . . ME, obviously). I had a great time. Hell, I went swimming! And I hadn't done that in many a fortnight. Though I did have to try to get over my fear of ridiculously evil wolf spiders. I'm not fucking kidding you. Gigantic, mind controlling, furry spiders that hang out near docks. Yeah, that's not fucking scary. AT ALL. Except I peed a little bit each time. And am now again, just talking about it. You doubt my peeing?

Yeah. I fucking thought so.

Hopefully we can do it again next year. Because man oh man do I love reading, drinking, swimming, and eating. For honestlys. And if you think me saying things like, "for honestlys" is pretty lame. Guess what? You're right. You're the winner.

Pretty sweet view huh? Too bad that dock is where Wolfy McSpider makes his home.

Andrew and Peter enjoying the above view. Please pay no attention to the fact that Peter seems to be doing his best Fin Raziel impression with his wooden staff. [6 extra points to whoever else understands that reference]

Somewhere not too long after all of that I got my last wisdom teeth pulled. I was only planning to go in for them to look at it, prescribe appropriate antibiotics, and then make an appointment for the following week. Nope. Dr. Shovey McNeedles decided it would be most prudent to yank them out right then and there. Like most doctors who think they know more about you and your body then you do, he insisited, nay, promised that the bleeding wouldn't last long. I assured him I would bleed like an overfed mosquito at Kirstie Alley's house. He would have none of it. Here's the thing. I didn't even get out of the OFFICE before the bleeding got so bad I had to go back in. Hmmm - that's NORMAL. Whatever. It's not like I didn't see this coming. But I didn't even get to have the fun wah-wah gas I got before. So I bled and I bled. And I hurt and I hurt. And I had to keep a warm teabag in the back of my mouth to numb the pain. Which makes it difficult to, oh, I don't know, eat, talk, work, move, think, you name it. Even the painkillers weren't as fun this time around. Sad. But I did eat pretty much only pudding and popsicles for a week. Which was pretty sweet. Especially the bomb pops. They're celebrating their 50th Anniversary. So be sure to say something to them if you run into them at say, the dance club.

Of course, as the entire world knows, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince came out. I liked it. I did. Obviously. Not my favorite. Maybe I'll appreciate it more when it's all said and done and book 7 is out. For the moment, I think it's the best book as far as character development/maturity. But not the best on plot. It was almost like at the end, she realized, "Oh shit. Something has to happen. It's almost over!" I don't know. Definitely renewed my want to see Goblet of Fire this fall though. That Hermione! Meow! What?! I'm just saying . . . she likes cats.

Peter and Titie have been hammering, painting, sanding, and whatever else one does when you're fixing up a house. Especially when the Twits were the previous owners. They're still living next door as the fix up the house at the end of the street. We were down there this last weekend and Sarah took it upon herself to run away. Again. Except apparently it was a combination of running away/kindly deaf old neighbor luring her in their house with treats. And we've all been there. So I can't blame her. This time. In a break of all the housey fixing, Titie and I took a ride to Manchester so I could help her bring the new crib back to the house in the van. Not that I don't already feel old when all the guys at work are constantly asking me what it felt like to live through such national treasures as "New Wave", "Ronald Reagan" and "Hoovervilles", but let me tell you - go peruse some cribs, and strollers, and baby seats, and thingamabobs (Kate's got 20). It will make you feel old. For definitelys. And it's not even MY baby. Well, that's what Peter and Titie keep telling me. Speaking of which, I saw her move last night as Titie was laying down watching Quantum Leap & NewsRadio. Which was already significant just that P&T are subjecting their daughter to such quality television at this stage of the game. But man. Babies moving in stomachs for all the world to see?! What will they think of next.

Work has been work. Boy howdy has it. Lots of declarations, meetings, talking-tos, sneaky snackersons. Ok, that last one means absolutely fucking nothing. I just wanted to say sneaky snackersons. Do you blame me? Things suck for most people at work NOT named Senor. Specifically Matt, Me, Dustin, & the Nicks. Oh well, with our powers combined, no one can stop Captain Planet!! Oh wait, I got confused. I fear that this site will one day be found by work. Cracks are already appearing. But I do not fret. No no. Because what is the worst they'll find out? That Senor is a lazy, lying, crybaby motherfucker? I'm sure he probably checked off those boxes on his application. So it shan't come as anything close to a surprise. It's just made work more "work" like and less "I don't want to kill myself every 30 seconds". (Meaning that now it's LIKE "I want to kill myself every 30 seconds"?) Following? Whatever. Senor is now playing the ignoring game and refuses to speak to me. My heart bleeds Senor. It bleeds fat, stinky blood. Just for you. Fucker.

Hannah came home ever so briefly and I joined her and Becca at their place in Portsmouth for popsicles and Brownie B(e)ar pops! It was a match made in popsicle heaven! Assuming, you know, that popsicles go to heaven when they die. Well, you know Freezy-Pops don't. There must be some sort of Freezy-Pop Purgatory. I mean, their souls can't just float around aimlessly wondering where to go! Oh wait, that's kinda the definition of purgatory. Nevermind. And Hannah and Becca even came over to R'Ford for some MORE fun popsicle business and watching Reno & Stella and reading comics! Hooray! And it was dark out and Becca didn't even get scared at all! Well, not that much! Hooray!

But yeah, the party planning is full steam ahead and the turnout is already looking pretty damn fine. Of course, Bobo the Wonder Clown has suggested several times (after loudly wondering "IF" I was going to have a party this year) that we have the party down the street at 610. Um - no. Offer is nice. But it's my fucking birthday and we ALWAYS have it here. The mere fact that I have to try to explain this fact to Waldi, excuse me, Bobo the Wonder Clown, makes me bleed even more than I already have been lately.

Also, it was like 107 degrees for most of July. And I hated it. I'm glad it's not anymore. I'm going to go have a popsicle before I leave for the Dastardly Mollusk. Good day sir. I said GOOD DAY SIR!

It's been real,

Hyper Striper Stump Jumper

ps - As a general note, even when I'm not updating all the time with new entries, I am constantly updating the Quotes Page. Which you can access by clicking Quotes! at the bottom of the upper left column. That is all.

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