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Savor The Flavor
2005-04-04 - 11:39 a.m. Currently Searching For: Black Envelopes Listening To: The Doors, Fiery Furnaces, Bowie, Clapton, Beck Quote:"Whoa. A fire-breathing horse. Kick ass." - Peter You know how you always end up with that X-shaped boomerang to fight the Grim Reaper at the top of the dungeon level when you were really hoping for the axe? And don't even get me started on the Medusa heads! But yeah, that's kind of been what my April's been like thus far. To recap: Wanting axes, getting oddly-shaped boomerangs, and dodging flying medusa heads. But hey, no one cares for you a smidge, when you're in an orphanage. Or something. April Fool's Day this year didn't seem particularly foolish. My mother got me. As she somehow ALWAYS fucking does year in and year out. She just takes advantage of the fact that at 6:30 in the morning my brain is especially pickled and ear-wig infested and you can pretty much pull anything over on me if I'm just waking up. I won't bore you with tales of how many times Kenichi has tricked me into thinking it was "partly sunny" out first thing in the morning when it was really, "fairly cloudy". Hoo boy. But yeah, none of my fronds seemed to care much enough to even ATTEMPT to fool me on the day. I managed to get several people at work. But, well . . . it wasn't much of a challenge. Let's leave it at that. Though, I should add that I did manage to convince Fred that he's Muslim for the FIFTH year in a row. Hey, he's an easy mark. I can't help it. Here's a fun trend that I've been noticing. Everyone being ridiculously wealthy and me not even having enough money to buy a ball of lint. Yes, I was unemployed for 3 weeks a bit back, but I feel I'm STILL trying to recover from that. And it's one thing to just "not be rich", but I'm talking about people scooting around in solid gold rocket cars. It sucks. I want a solid gold rocket car. But you just know I'd never take care of it. And it would end up collecting dust. Like pretty much every other fucking material item I own in Waldi's House of Wax. Speaking of wax, I used to LOVE wax beans. Seriously, who decided they should be called wax beans? It doesn't sound like a great marketing technique. And I think I only ever had them for hot lunch at school. Oh go ahead and point. That's right, I ate hot lunch. Remember, no solid gold rocket car over here? And I've never had better square pizza in all my life! But yeah, can you buy wax beans, like for your own preparing and eating, at the grocery store? Because if you can? Damn! I know what I'm having for dinner tonight. They're just so . . . mmmmmmm . . . I don't know - oddly colored, odd tasting, weird texture and just . . . mmmmmm, wax beans. Which was a somewhat good segue (hey, I can only work with what I got) to this paper's main idea. It involves pictures, so don't worry, there won't be a lot of work. Or the whitewashing of Aunt Polly's fence. One of my biggest sadnesses in having the insides of an alien corpse is that I can hardly ever drink soda anymore. It's just too many shades of wrong if I try to drink it. And God knows I still try, but never with good results. I just feel I'm missing out on this flavor revolution that's been going on the last few years. Great, I was granted full access to Pepsi Clear and Pepsi Blue, but where were all these lemon, lime, and cherry businesses when I could still partially digest those wonderful carbonated sugar waters?! Now I find out there's far more I'm missing out on then some Diet Pepsi that tastes like Sprite or Dr. Pepper peed in it. Don't believe me?
And that's what I did on my summer vacation. Or something. For those of you that don't suck - keep your ears and eyes peeled for dates and times of the first official R'ford BBBQ of the season. Late May is the target. It will likely cap off a week of NewsRadio DVDs, Lost/Alias finales, and LakePorterican weddings. Oh what a time it will be. It's been real, Vadik ps - New poll time! Whoa, whoa. One at a time! Don't everyone rush! You'll all have your turn! As far as the top vote getters for the last poll, they are as follows, Favorite Presidential Quirk: With 17% of the vote, with 4 ballots marked, "Warren G. Harding's addiction to drinking, gambling, and whoring. Ah, the 20's." came in third place. Which I'm sure is great consulation to Albert Fall. Except not. Second place went to, "James Garfield's ambidexterous ability to write in Greek and Latin - at the SAME TIME!" with 5 votes and 21%, and the grand prize winner is, not surprisingly, "William Howard Taft for disproving the myth, 'A Walrus Can't Be President!'" who garnered 7 votes and 29% of the total. Now go show your love of democracy and vote! Or maybe you love just clicking buttons. Fuck if I know.
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