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God, Don't Let A Piano Crush Me Before 10:30 AM

2002-05-03 - 12:54 a.m.

So today's the big day. But, I'm typing this at 1 in the morning, so it won't technically be the big day until the morning. But I am super excited. Seriously. It's like Christmas Eve. Except Ben's rose plant is a poor excuse for a Christmas Tree and I didn't get to open any boxers. But still. My dad will be down here in the morning and after finishing off another box of Spider-Man cereal, and adjusting my homemade web-shooters (I'm kidding . . .or am I?) off to Hoyts we will go.

SO yeah. I'm pretty excited about Spider-Man. Has anyone noticed?

So I had an interesting day today. It rained all day. I missed the bus. Twice. Here's the thing. Excuse me while I deflate my Spidey-excitement for a minute and rant for more than a minute. The deal: I love Laconia. I do. I really, honestly do. It's a great place. It has more water than Atlantis and a wayward deer jumped through the window at the Soda Shoppe. You can't ask for much more than that in a city. But, like any city, it has its drawbacks. I only have one hometown. That's the same for anyone. I'm not anywhere close to naive enough to believe that Laconia is the only place where gossip spreads like the wildest of wildfires. But I swear, if gossip ever spread like crabs on Helen Hunt, it is in Laconia. In no way am I trying to "cast the first stone", or attempting to live in a glass house. Everyone is guilty of gossiping. I certainly have been guilty in the past more than most. The worst part is, my (extended) family could keep Liz Smith busy for years. It's one thing to gossip. It's another to be fucked up and wrong 99.9% of the time (like my family is) and yet persist to spread rumors, or report things like it is any of their god damned business. I know none of my family outside of the Slops read this anyway, and they know who the greatest offenders are, but it really does upset me. I've always liked the fact that everyone in town pretty much knows at least part, if not all, of my family. But that begins to backfire when your family doesn't ever know when to keep their mouths shut. And it starts to get pretty sad (not to mention sick) when all anyone in your family wants to do is talk about the "sins", "faults", "fuck-ups", and "problems" in other people's lives. Especially, and you don't need to be a Slop to know this, my family is NOTHING if not Fucked Up. "C'mon, what is he talking about? What is he refering to?" Oddly enough, I'm not even talking about a specific incident right now. I just know how my family is, and it really pisses me off. If I didn't have Dame blood in me they would let me twist in the wind just like they do anyone else. People can say what they want about the Foote's. The Foote Men don't fuckin' run their mouths around town like a bunch of bitter old hens with nothing else to do between a phone call and a cocktail. Ok. I needed to vent. And so I did. Don't worry people, this journal won't be turning into "this is a list of people and things that I hate". Besides, I'd cripple the internet if I did that. My closing argument to this rant? If you hear a rumor, or gossip about somebody: First, consider the source. Second, it's more than likely none of your business. Third, you probably don't know the WHOLE story. Fourth, act like an adult and make the rumor end with you. Ok. Done. For Now. I promise.

Ok, on to greener pastures. I like the new Trey Anastasio song, but if they played Phish on the radio this god damned much, I would have ended up hating them as much as Crap Matthews Band. (See what I did there? Instead of "Dave", I said "Crap". Two words: "Zah-ing!")

Seriously. I saw Batman in 1989. With my Dad. And he asked me if it was the best movie I had ever seen. I told him yes, but later reconsidered and told him a Spider-Man movie would be coming out soon and I bet I'd like that much better. He said we'd go to that one too. Well, ol' Les is gonna be here at 9:30 Friday morning and it's off to Spidey we go! [NOTE TO SELF: When you get a free moment, travel back in time and tell 5th Grade Zach he has a LONG ASS time to wait. But make sure you have a mask on or something (not clown - too scary), cause if 1989 Zach sees you and realizes who you are . . .well, YOU KNOW -BOOM!- rip in the ol' Space Time Continuum. That and he'll only wonder why you keep screaming "Make sure you kill Billy Morrisette! Kill him dead!"]

So I almost died at work tonight, and Dagong Bedford almost went down with me. The flourescent light in the back room was "found" (yeah right) dangling by Kate. Of course, she told me to "fix" it. It was still ON. So I tried to put it back in its socket, but that only made it make a popping noise, go dark and fall to the ground. I miraculously caught it and avoided another 5th Grade fork incident [NOTE TO SELF PART 2: Also tell 1989 Zach to MAKE sure to pack a BAG LUNCH on breakfast/lunch day and he will thusly be able to avoid a life long scar on his right hand] So of course, not happy that there's still wires hanging from the socket, Dago. . .I mean Kate goes over and fiddles with it and then oohs and aahhs when sparks start flying out. Sigh, too close of a call for me. Man, I just know I will get crushed by a piano before 10:30. That would be sad for me. Getting crushed by a piano. And missing Spider-Man. Cause I got crushed by a piano.

So, I best go to bed. It is 1:30, and Les and Spidey are gonna give me an early wake-up call, and then Peter, Brooke, and Ben converge on ol' 1018 and it's Weddingville or Bust!! Celtics? Please. For Spidey. Roast Iverson's corpse on the parquet floor. And I'll close with a special guest host doing the honors . . .tell 'em Stan!

Thwipp!! Excelsior Spidey-Friends!! 'Nuff Said!!

It's been real,

Otto Octavius

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