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109 In The Shade

2008-07-10 - 7:45 a.m.

Vitamin Water I Always Mistake For XXX In A Rush: Revive or Power-C. Argh.

Listening To: Vampire Weekend, Cream, The Pretty Things, Eddie Vedder, The Sugarcubes

Quote:"I'll have another Bloody Marrow." - Monique, ordering a cocktail, "Wow." - Waitress

I don't do the heat well. The heat doesn't do me well. Things get a little . . . wonky (if you will, and I will) in the heat. People's short fuses are made that much shorter. Shopping cart wheels get extra . . . wonky. Professional Barber's barbasol starts looking a little . . . wonky. Adjective choices become repetitive and . . . wonky. DAMN YOU HEAT!!! Seriously, I can't take it anymore. They say it'll be cooling down now for the rest of the week. COOLING DOWN. TO THE HIGH 80's. Oh thank the Lord above. Now I'm only going to sweat through 6 t-shirts over the course of the day and only have to take 3 cold showers.

Meanwhile, as the tiny purple fishes run laughing through my fingers, I find summer in more than full swing. Summer, the pendulous beast that it is, is running the mercury full tilt right now. Maybe you heard? It's hot out. Hot enough to fry an egg? Yes, Howie, an omelette. A western omelette even. The Diamond Mines are air-conditioned so I actually prefer being at work as opposed to being home, substisting on stale bread, tofu cream cheese, and my own heat-hating tears. Well, it's not that bad, I suppose. Outside of the bone-melting heat (it's hot out, don't you know?) there have been some high points. Both on the Heat Index and off. Here's some non-chronological scenes from a marriage carriage house summer:

- Roaming the streets of Portsmouth with Monique, Kate, Patrick, Jamie, Bryan, and Little Nick. Now THAT is a diverse crew. The night had a hard time getting going, but everyone got a little toasty (if not a little food poison-y by the crab dip at the Brewery - whoops!), and was too busy throwing compliments at the Kate the Great Russian Imperial Stout to notice (while TC wept one state away)

- Cocktail hour in Mansfield, MA for Roy & Pete's wedding. Hobnobbing and mingling with ghosts of Lakeport old, reconnecting, slightly reconciling, corralling appetizers for all the pregnant women (of which? There are a lot: Shannon, Jackie, Kelly, Kristen - and that's not even counting Mackenzie, who wasn't there). Apparently it's hot in the summer in a dress suit. Who knew? Well, a year previous, we were standing on the beach in Ocean City for TC and Jackie. So I guess that was hotter.

- Riding out the rain in Sanbornton at Nanny's 80th birthday party with my entire family (save Allyson, Scott, Patrick, and Shawn) and actually having it go off without a hitch! No fights, no awkward moments, no cold shoulders. Everyone behaved themselves! Well, Kung Fu Panda got ornery, but that's just his way. I was scared for Monique at the beginning of it, but she thought I was just whistlin' Dixie by the end of it. Doesn't she know I don't even know how to whistle Dixie?

- Hiding in a walk-in freezer with Monique at Patrick's, waiting for Rick to open the door so we can surprise him / serenade him with "You're a Grand Old Flag", then blindfold him (one of M's calling cards at this point) and drive him to Concord for Moritomo's and Paula Poundstone!! Good times. Good times.

- Being surprised with a back-from-Virgina Ben and very-pregnant Shannon when I was leaving work. We reconvened at 19 Y while Shannon held court under the only working fan and Ben was forced to show off his biking accident scars (because I kept making him) and Luna further explored our house wondering where all the geckos have gone. I didn't have the heart to tell the dog that the heartless Italian acrylic baron Bombaci made off with them to Europe and parts unknown.

- Sitting in Central Park with Monique, Ryan, and Tom, playing digital Catchphrase (guaranteed to make all Prescotts past and future jealous) with a wedding to our left, a copulative couple behind us, and Roscoe Jenkins' family reunion to the right of us. Sitting on the grass, relaxing with friends in beautiful weather and not having to be at work. It was absolutely glorious.

- Running around the Fox Run Mall with Patrick and Kate and asking them to be arbiters of taste while ignoring every clothing suggestion they offered me. That said, Pat DID try to get me to buy Fubu and Kate DID try to get me to ask out Jonathon from CVS for her. So I think they may not have had my best interests at heart.

- Jamie and me hauling the washer/dryer out of Nanny's house. It was very strange being in Nanny's house (something so associated with LA and my childhood) with Jamie (someone with zero association to either). Jamie gets frightened easily in LA. He thinks bikers and townies are "going to get 'im" (his words). And his Aquaman powers to speak to the fish in times of distress don't work in Laconia waters. Poor thing.

- Floating in the ice cold waters of the Swift River, feeling my heart rate slow down, while the 92 degree sun fell on my head, and Monique read in peace from the slanted bank of sand and rocks.

- Peter, Rich, Ben, Tom, Jimbo (in a last minute appearance from San Diego), myself, and the recent (I'm talking still hours old) newlyweds, Andrea and Pete tailgating at the Pearl Jam concert at Great Woods Tweeter Center Comcast Center. It was a fantastic show and a good time was had by all (especially Andrea and Pete who were in primo seats). But the rest of us lawn dwellers enjoyed ourselves heartily as well. The ghosts of Steve Miller and the Doobie Brothers greeted us. It was Pearl Jam's last public show of the tour and they delivered. I didn't get to bed until almost 6 that night and had to work for 9, so I didn't exactly deliver a stupendous show at work the next day. But they did hook me up to an ice coffee drip. And then my brain melted. Since I can't drink coffee. It's not their fault. They were trying to save my life. PJ didn't play Love Boat Captain and ignored No Code, so I thought Peter would cry, but they DID play 1/2 Full, so that made him happy. And I'm always easily pleased as long as I hear my precious Corduroy.

- Taking an important childhood memory - that of walking the Marginal Way in Ogunquit with my parents every summer - and grafting on to my adult life, when Monique and I walked it one afternoon, watching the surfers amass like nautical lionsand avoiding League Nights left and right!

Well, I'm off to argue with my obstinate neighbors to the north, Pelican. Those Canandian RAM-X merchants have really been getting my dander up! Also, Happy Belated Birthday to Brooke & Hannah and Happy Early Birthday to Roy! (She said I could still call her Roy, so bully to you!)

It's been real,

Monster In My Parasol

ps - I don't think notifications went out for the last few entries, so feel free to feast upon . . .

pps - Massive updates on the Quotes Vol. 4 for all of June and July thus far. Check it out, won't you?

ppps - Check out those Harrison hi-jinx over at their new law blog Cob Blog! You don't need to tell them they're crazy. They are already well aware.

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