2007-01-03 - 10:38 p.m.

Hi. I'm Gerald Ford. And I've been getting buried for the last 700 hours. For fuck sakes, I KNOW the man liked nachos and I KNOW the man liked beer and I appreciate both of those things, but just fucking bury him already and be done with it. Floral shops will be closed Thursday in observance of Gerald Ford's passing. Cobblers and Strip Clubs will be closed next Monday in observance of Nancy Reagan's huge sunglasses that she wore to Ford's funeral services. Also, having Cheney praise you (which isn't surprising, since he served under Ford) isn't exactly the most honorific thing in the world. Cheney, just weeks ago, took note in his farewell comments to Donald Rumsfeld to say that "Rummy is/was the best Secretary of Defense this country has ever had." Hmmmm. No arguments there. Wait - why was Rumsfeld leaving again? He needed more time to catch up on his Gilmore Girls DVDs? Lunch dates with Cindy Sheehan? Anyway . . .

So I'm getting my last wisdom tooth pulled in the morning - a fact that Monique has, in her attempts to de-stress me about it, reminded me of roughly 16 times in the last hour. Her last words of encouragement to me minutes ago were, "Break a leg, have a nice, stay tough, be laughy." Oh well, in that case, what do I have to worry about?!

Work sucks. But it's an open, acknowledged fact that it sucks. Which freakishly seems to make it more tolerable. Me being there a half day tomorrow and then gone on Friday to recuperate makes it even MORE tolerable. Did I mention that work sucks lately? Because it does.

Anyway, I should write some e-mails and go to bed. I have a big nitrous filled day tomorrow. Oh! Did I mention I have an exclusive pic from the Ford funeral?! Feast your eyes below!!

Spidey rushes over Julie Nixon & Amy Lynn Carter's speed machines in order to get to Gerry Ford's Funeral Funtacular in time!

It's been real,

Hatter Madigan

ps - Special thanks to Hannah, all the way from foggy England for that Spidertastic picture!

pps - I think it's Rachel's birthday today. Happy Birthday Rachelle!

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