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Farm Livin' Is The Life For Me!

2005-07-06 - 7:31 a.m.

Land spreadin' out so far and wide.
Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside!

Blargh, I know I appreciated that bit. And I do mean "bit"! Anyway, so I can't remember exactly what drew me to the farm that afternoon. Perhaps I had a new issue of Y? Oh wait - I had Y AND the Alias finale tapes. Which Shan-Y was in Ireland when we all had our hearts ripped out of our chest so she wanted to see what all the fuss was about. I can't say I blame her. Although she did blame Al-Y and I for not "sufficiently warning her that her life would be over" after she watched it. [Side Note: Did I just create a link *within* a link? Delicious.]

So I got there a bit before Aly, probably because she was on her way from one of the 16 random jobs she works. So I got the tour first. And oh man, what a tour it was! Horses, dogs, cats, lamb, rams, & peacocks! That's right, Canobie Park hi-jinx style! Even in Nottingham! Now let me be clear, since whenever I mention the peacocks, people freak out and claim not only are the scared shitless of peacock but they can't understand how I love them so much. That's a misunderstanding indeed. I have no love for peacocks. They scare me a mighty bit as well. Their cry sounds like a retarded spider monkey baby that's getting grilled alive on a rusty spit. They seem mean. They seem crazy. They seem mean and crazy. And I have no doubt that they spend each minute of every day plotting how they'll rip my eyes out and make nests with them. So, I mean, you can see why Canobie Lake Park thinks it so wise to have the roam free for all the little children waiting to puke their burgers out on the Turkish Twist. They're kept in a SANCTUARY at the farm, so I guess that's supposed to stop them from thinking evil, eye-gouging thoughts. I don't believe this for a second. And you just fucking KNOW Aly jumps right in there and is all petty-pet rooster with them. But anyway, I fell in love with the crazy farm and all it's crazy hammocky hanging seats, Johnny Cash/Jesus Christ collages, animals named after bugs, animals with no names at all, industrial restaurant fridges and stoves, and did I mention the animals?

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