2005-07-05 - 12:16 a.m.

Well, yeah, I mean, I GUESS they "have the games people play". I mean, what does that say? It doesn't say they're GOOD games or particularly popular games, just that they're the games people play. That's like opening a restaurant, let's call it, "Pizmo's" and having your big motto being, "Pizmo's: We have the food people eat." Oh really? You do? Fantastic. That's my favorite kind of food. Anyway . . . I love Funspot, I truly do. And I know Snorts does too. But if I was going there for the first time . . . ok, I'd still love it - but COME ON Bob Lawton - let's put some of that GOP-lovin' money into general fucking upkeep. The stairs that go from the original building up to the "party area" (where Simpsons, TMNT, and Batman are) are all ripped up and ratty with pieces of tape holding some sections together. While I enjoy the latest cosmetic change - instituting a more visible game memorabilia museum-y kind of thing - that still doesn't excuse the fact that your newest games are from circa '93 and that you haven't tried capturing a fad since all that virtual reality crap from the mid-90's. Sure, you still get some points for Tina Ballerina vamping about the grounds filling up soda machines to her hearts content, that doesn't give you a free pass for not having the X-Men game. Which always forces me to go to fucking MOON'S Penny Arcade down at the pier. Which normally would be fine, but they have dirt floors and I know that shooting gallery is fucking haunted. MUCH LIKE YOUR AIRHOCKEY GAME'S scoring system Mr. Lawton! That thing rings up scores faster than Ashton Kutcher at a Bay Area truck stop.

�

<-- Back to the Salt Mines! - Onward, to the Bee-Mobile! -->

�