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To All The 2004's I've Loved Before: Part 3

2005-01-09 - 2:04 p.m.

And Did He Go With The Tour Of Italy? No. No he did not. Stuffed Shells with Sausage thank you very much

Listening To: The Beatles, Loretta Lynn, Nirvana

Quote:"Friend, you know how I feel about mints in cars!" - Kate

Man. I know that last entry didn't seem very long to you, the reader, but I gotta tell you - it took for-fucking-ever. The pictures aren't the bitch, it's the linking back to everything, and then making sure all those links work. Real pain in the ass. Even moreso since I know most of you won't even click on them. Bastards! Anyway, we move onto the autumnal business of 2004 . . .

Jon had gone back to Florida and Titie had to yet make the drive up to NH yet so it was a solo Peter that joined a bunch of us (with a stylish Jimbo back in town for Shannon's wedding) for a Red Sox game that was an easy win for the Sox with Pedro vs. the Devil Rays - except you know, we lost it. Fucker. Jimbo was in town for Shannon & Matt's wedding, and we partied down in R-ford the night before. I continued to bitch about the non-existence of NewsRadio DVD's in the face of season releases of Mad About You and other dreck. I implored for Mindy to explain to me the Wendy's mayoburger phenomenon - and I'm still waiting for answer, Schilling got his 20th win and that lucky bastard Justin seemed to start going to every damned game (all winning ones too!). Wow, I can't think of anything Curt Schilling could say that would detract me love for him! (Just you wait . . .) Finally, to round out the month, Hannah left for England, Titie (and Sarah) made their way to NH, we all got totally addicted to Lost, and Rick insisted that the 8 most beautiful words in the English language were, "Dick and Sharon are out of the country."

Ah October, the month with 8 arms. It kicked off in spectacular fashion. First, we went to Brian's bachelor party out in the great wilderness, and the the very next morning I found out I was losing my job. Good times. Good times. Soon, I got into hot water when all these boobs decided it would be a wonderful idea to google themselves and sure enough, find mention of their name on this here little website. Grand. After that I would expose myself as the thief of Rick's Peanut M&M's (after Rachelle and I took in yet another production of his in Franklin) and then right on the heels of that came Hannah and Brian's wedding. The Red Sox snuck into the playoffs as the wildcard, after almost overtaking the Yank-me's at the end of the season for 1st. We swept the Angels (with gratuitous shots of Jimbo on TV in Anaheim at the game) and were almost totally swept by the Yankees until Ortiz began to stem the tide (as usual, Justin was there) and managed game-winning monster homeruns TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW. And as you all know, we went on to win the American League Championship and then the World Series. Meanwhile, a little boy by the name of Ben sat in the corner with his thumb in some humble pie and ate crow.

October closed out with a Halloween to remember. TC and Jackie had driven from San Fran to Boston just in time for the World Series and they arrived in Rollinsford with just as much fanfare, if not more. Jon & Mindy both came back up from Florida for the festivities and it was a good ol' drunken time had by all (save Hayley of course).

Aly and Alex (making an unasked for spooky face)

Jon, refusing to stray from tradition - dressed as a "ghoul" for roughly the 15th year running, while Ben managed to top "Stop sign" this year and went with One Night Stand. It was a pretty sweet costume - except for the fact that he couldn't go to the bathroom or climb stairs. Which, you know, is great for a party in a BASEMENT where you're DRINKING LOTS AND LOTS OF BEER.

Brian and Hannah came as matching blue and orange butterflies. (Which somewhat stole some thunder from my Cowboy Butterfly costume, alas) Brian got right to work on that colorful brainteaser we had *on loan* from the Wallakers.

He did it! Aren't you proud? And look at the camera hog Sarah getting in on the action!

And then there's always the tastefully dressed Tim Curtis - who can make or break any party. I'm pretty sure he made this one. Peter is joining TC and Jackie in what was known as the "Couple of 2004" costume. That's right - Brigitte Neilson and Flavor Flav. And that's right gentlemen, those are real!

(Lil') Chris joined TC in recreating that famous painting that shook the art world, "Scary Clown and the Man-Boobs"

Shan-Y and Ben Cole sadly didn't know it was a costume party and sat frightfully on the couch in fear that someone would see them

Mindy, in an inspired costume change, managed to end up wearing pieces of all of our costumes. Including Hannah's wings, my rifle, Brian's attenae, Jackie's clock, I have no idea who's fright wig, her own horns, and what looks to be some dusty safety glasses she probably found in the basement. Watch out Paris and Milan, here comes Mindy

Hannah plays God with some recombiant DNA of a jack russel and a butterfly

And that, my friends, in a bid to satisfy TC - who has been badgering me in what he thinks was an embargo on my part in trying to stop pictures of him with boobs from being posted online - is Halloween. Wear them proud TC, wear them proud.

Then November popped up. All cold and not-so-snuggly. Al-Y had "girl's night" with Ben, McKeen wandered back into existence - if ever so briefly, I got Rick hooked on Alias, Aly and I got into a fake/but not totally fake "banana fight" in front of Secret Crush, Aaron nearly shaved Ben and my scalp bald - and for just the right price! Kapler sidled off to Japan and Megan Taft came back to the G for One Night Only! It was grand. Thanksgiving was just as nutty as all those turkey frying pics led you to believe it was, and for good measure I bled about 3 gallons of eye blood from my eye. A good November over all I'd say. (You know, except for that whole thing about that moronic fucknut that half of our inbred, "why aren't you brainwashed, I mean patriotic like us?", fellow countrymen and countrygirls voted back into office. But let's not get into that. If there's one thing we don't like to do at Stuff & Things, it's make waves. Or sully World Series afterglow Mr. Curt "Vote Bush" Schilling!)

I jumped on the bandwagon of the wonderfulness that is Arrested Development after the World Series ended. I caught all of Season 1 on DVD and am happy that nothing is in the way of me catching Season 2 now. Demolition took down more LA memories and Kenichi continued to be as dumb as possible throughout December. Lost continued to totally fuck with our minds, and to pass the time, the girls at work busted open some Geodes. Mind you, this is when they weren't busy seeing some customer attempt to sabotage my employment because they thought I was rude. When in truth they were the whorish fuckbag, not I. And all over some delectable little Sassy Stacking Cups! Aww! I finished out the holiday season and Stuff & Things in '04 with a fascinating (not so much) look at the inner workings of the Wallakers as it fell apart. And 2 days before Christmas saw a cornucopia of Sachems gather at my mom's (whilst she was in New Mexico). It was a grand ol' time.

At least Jon doesn't look super demonic here right? Right?

This pic could be entitled "Everyone Hide Your Cigs". I didn't ask everyone to hide them, but apparently Jimbo, Annie, Monique, Titie and Rich felt the overwhelming need to. And Peter and Rick felt the overwhelming need to bookend them

Well, well - here's a star-studded affair. Peter's looking at me very accusingly, Rachel and Ben seem to be studying the art of card playing, Roy is looking at me like a Roy in the headlights. Molly(!) strategizes, while husband Dave looks on from behind Monique - who seems to be casting a spell with a wooden backscratcher that Rick (who can be 3/4 seen next to Monique) due to flagrant abuse of the backscratcher had to take away from her, while Hamna, Brain, and Jackie round out the bottom

Why look - the old gang! We have Roy, Peter, Titie, Peter's Miller Lite Can and that Christmas elf Rich!

Yeah - I have no fucking clue what's happening here. My guess would be that Jimbo is showcasing hershy kisses on his nipples, Monique is hoisting up a hot dog and Rick is expertly placing some mustard on it. They seem to have thrown Hannah (who's sporting the same shade of "convict orange" as Jimbo) in for good measure. Meanwhile, Dave and Annie look on in horror. [ps - we didn't have any hot dogs at the party - so I guess Monique brought her own personal supply]

After Christmas, the store was pretty much manned by Al-I, Al-Y, Becca, briefly Shan-Y, and me. (Well, and the giant gelatinous beast that shall not be named. But this entry is heavy enough without me adding her 3 tons to it) Justin was foolish enough to bring Cameron in and trust his care to Al-I, Hal-Y and me. The fool.

And then there was New Year's Eve down in Milton at Kelly & Roy's. Hot dog. What can be said about New Year's? Hmmmm . . . well - I had the most lethal case of "gastrointestinalitis" which is a made up way of saying, "explosive diarrhea". Which I think was caused from 33% soda intake, 33% stress, 33% glowing meteorite, and 1% of me taking up the challenge put forth from Liz & Jenn to stick whole meatballs in my mouth. Despite lacking the bionic visage of Dick Clark to ring in another New Year things went smashingly. And not entirely "head againt a wall" smashingly either. Was there good food? Good God, I think I'm still eating food from that party. And Jenn made good on the promise of being "super cool". Well, perhaps I should revise that to, "super cool except when she was in contact with either Tim, Ben, or Liz and talking about Ireland to no end." And if all 4 of them were together in the room? Oh God, slit my throat with a sharpened blarney stone now.

Rachel, Kate, Brooke, Peter, Derek (friend of Peter and Titie who lives and Florida but had driven here from Buffalo - and had also met Mindy in R'ford) & Kyle playing some early rounds of Asshole

Rachel, Roy - having now perfected her "Roy in the headlights" look, Peter looking like a Gap Ad from 1994, and Kate playing some later rounds of Asshole

Why do I show this picture? I will tell you. #1 - To show photographic proof that Benjamin R. Walden is not only failing to wear his Sunday's Best, but isn't wearing any BLUE at all! In fact, he's wearing shimmering RED! It's so shimmery that this pic really doesn't do it justice. #2 - At any point during the party, someone might say, "Hey! Who can find Ben first?!" And you'd just turn your head until your retinas got burned out and sure as I'm sittin' here, there'd be Ben and his shimmery red shirt

Don't you like how everyone's looking at the camera? I do. Roy looks for snacks as Kelly finishes yet another bottle all by herself. Jenn looks off in a zombie haze comfortable in the fact that she's wearing the color of the Emerald Isle, while Liz is attempting to make herself a 7th Long Island Ice Tea

And so comes my favorite picture. Sure we have Kelly offering up MINI-CHEESEBURGERS that were oh so tasty, and sure we have the rare sight of Roy staring at me through the camera lens, but what's this?! This yeti-esque, Grape Ape looking, maniacal protrusion from off screen coming to snatch all of our precious mini-cheeseburgers away?!? That Tim Curtis. What an animal!

And that my friends, was 2004: A 3-Act Play.

It's been real,

Ollie the Olive

ps - What's that? 3 entries in a row isn't enough for you vultures? You want the new poll I promised? Fine. Here's the results to the last one first: Asked who the MVP of 2004 was you rabid monkeys voted Fred Robie into 5th place with 6 votes at 12%, Smokey Bones grabbed 4th place with 7 votes and 14%, Brian K. Vaughan had 16% of the vote with 8 votes to make 3rd place, an inexplicable 2nd place went to the dumb as pudding feline known as Kenichi with 9 votes and 18% and the overwhleming winner of the Stuff & Things 2004 MVP Award with 27% and 13 votes goes to your favorite centerfielder and mine, the Son of God, #18: Johnny Damon! Now go vote in the new poll - careful, it's a tough one!

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