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But What About My Cous Cous?

2004-12-06 - 10:33 a.m.

Been Watching: Arrested Development, Lost, Simpsons, RW/RR Challenge

Listening To: Jack Johnson, Bob Marley, Man or Astro-Man?, The Toadies

Quote: "Oh man, I already ate my Black Peter . . . wait . . . that sounds bad." - Zach, on his St. Nicholas Day

Oh man, it's December. And no one even bothered to tell me. You'd think I would have known, what with the teeming ignorant masses constantly sidling up to the counter asking if this, that and the other thing are on sale. I know, I know - poor me. And I can understand wanting to know what's on sale before you buy something, but good god almighty, some of the shit they ask is either so OBVIOUSLY on sale or so OBVIOUSLY NOT. Here's a helpful guide for those of you playing at home.

If the sale sign says, "Wooden Train Sale":
Yes
Yes
Cute, but No


If the sale sign says, "Playmobil":

Yes
Yes
Even cuter, but No


If the sale sign says, "Plush & Dolls":

Yes
Yes

Oh dear God, my retinas! It burns! Absolutement Non!

So I'm glad we got that out of the way. So I guess everyone is sick of looking at the pics of the Bayou Classic by now. Not the Bengineer. Oh no. He went and fried himself a 10 pound turkey the other night (in only 29 minutes!) and made enough turkey chili to last a lifetime. Or at least a week in Waldi-time. The boy loves him some chili. Kate refused to celebrate her birthday on the 1st so we appropriately complied and did absolutely nothing for her birthday. She came by yesterday and she and I went to watch the Pats obliterate the Browns with Justin, Renee & Cam-er-on. I wish I had a baby RIGHT now so it could be friends with Cameron. Even if I did have the baby right now Cam-bot would still have a year and a half on him (yes, my baby is most certainly a boy). Justin assured me that my new baby could be friends with their new baby when it's born. But I told them that I like Cameron more. Justin showed me the ultrasound pics (sex undetermined) but they just didn't sway me. How could the possibly compete with Cam? Especially when he's all gangsta and saying, "yo, yo, yo!"
No competition

I went to see Nanny last Friday. But first I had to go to Patrick's and pick up Freaks and Geeks and Alias Season 1 from Rick. He was very happy with both and is currently in the process of plowing through Alias Season 2. I know, I too wish I could watch the beauty that is Season 2 all over again for the first time. Then I dropped Freaks and Geeks off in a bag at Tim & Jackie's (the house formerly known as Nana & Bump's) and in exchange took a bag that TC had left for me full of all sorts of goodies. Wait a minute. Does anyone else get the vibe that my trip to Laconia owes an awful lot to the plot of The Chipmunk Adventure? I mean the DVD's = Cash Filled Dolls, TC's Goodies = Diamond Filled Dolls, My Jeep = Hot Air Balloon, Rick = That Crazy Mexican Guy Shooting Guns Off While Riding His Horse During The Fiesta, Nanny = Miss Miller, Ben & Kenichi = Klaus & Claudia. Good Lord, I just lived through my favorite fucking movie and I didn't even realize it. Damn. It begs the question, who am I? I like the locales that the Chipettes went to more, but I don't want to have to seduce snakes. I like all the food Theodore gets in South America, but not the getting burned at the stakes and getting fed to alligators business. Sigh. I don't know why I'm even making pretend this is debatable. I'm obviously Simon. Sigh. Anyway, so after I did the drop offs, Nanny and I went to eat lunch at Patrick's. Yes, I ended up back at Patrick's. We had soup. It was hot. And our waitress kept asking us for our favorite tongue twisters. [Congrats, you just made yet another in-joke that only one person on this planet could possibly get - Ed.] {You're welcome fussy britches - Z} After we left, Nanny realized she forgot her cell phone at Patrick's. So we had to go back. Which was nice since I hadn't been to Patrick's in like 10 minutes. And while we were back at Nanny's, I saw our very own Brian ("Brain" to his friends) Harrison on WMUR talking about the snow the area was getting. He was a literal man-on-the-street interviewee. Keep reaching for the stars Brain!
VS
It's uncanny. Eerie even

Peter and Titie had Ben and I over last night for St. Nicholas Day, which in Holland is the big mucky muck holiday. They still have Christmas, Easter, Windmill Appreciation Day, and all the other big holidays, but I guess St. Nicholas Day is the King of them all. If any of you have read the new David Sedaris book, you have read his essay on how odd the Dutch celebrations of this holiday look to an outsider. If you haven't read the essay, plase do, it's quite humorous. In the mean time, I will continue to eat scrumptious Black Peters. Wait. That still sounds bad. Although there was way more to eat than just Black Peter's, seeing as Titie made a feast of appetizers and sweets. (Thank God I didn't eat lots of Chinese Food for lunch. Kate, your hush money is on its way) St. Nicholas commonly leaves presents in your shoes, but seeing as Ben and I don't keep our shoes at Peter and Titie's, he was kind enough to leave them under the tree. Ben got (along with the Black Peters that we both got) an inscribed ornament that says, "Waldy" and I got one inscribed with, "Dr. Quickhands." Nice. We also got some nice festive holiday spice-y kind of candles. Hmmmm, I'm starting to like this pre-Christmas Christmas.

On the Secret Crush front, she called me an "asshole" on Thursday and a "friggin' liar" on Friday. Sigh. It's love.

Wait, Barry Bonds and Jason Giambi were taking steroids? My Barry Bonds?! Truly, my faith in baseball has been shaken to its core.

It's been real,

Jamal

ps - If you're not watching Arrested Development, then we are so not friends anymore. Sunday nights at 8:30. I was right about Lost no? (And don't even get me going about how creepy last week's Lost was) Well Arrested Development is to comedy what Lost is to crazy island drama mind-fucks. That's a compliment. And for those of you that DO watch A.D. - a treat for you:

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