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Do Glue Guns Work On Human Hair?

2004-11-18 - 7:58 p.m.

Identity Crisis Killer: The ATOM? I mean, there better be a hell of an explanation. (And NOT evil figmented kids!)

Listening To: Bush, Pixies, Sifl & Olly, The Kinks, Nick Andopolis

Quote:"What are you? The Banana Police?" - Zach " . . . yes." - Al-Y

I have no idea what I'm about to write about. Isn't that fun? But I have a rare bit of free time right now that involves a computer with an internet connection, so I feel I simply must take advantage. Which yes, means I'm at work even though I'm not working. Hal-Y and Jenn are out front and I'm back here click clacking away. Ben and I just met my mother and Don down at Poco's for dinner. My mom and Don are now on their way to the Dylan concert on campus and Ben's on his way home. Meanwhile, I'm a few coronas to the wind and pathetically forcing Hayley to be my crutch as I go down to Secret Crush's HQ and try to flirt with her as obviously as possible without it seeming the least bit obvious that I'm flirting. Does that make any sense? I hope not.

But seriously. I lurve Secret Crush. And each time I go in there I secretly hope that I'll find out something about her that'll make me hate her - I don't know - like her saying, "Thank God Bush won, huh?" or "It's about time someone recognized the respective genius that is 'King of the Hill' and 'Will & Grace'!" - you know, something that I'd just find so devestating that I couldn't even look at her ever again. Eep! Damn my hands for even typing such a thing! Yet . . . that's a very real possibility quite soon. What with the G going the way of C. Thomas Howell's career, I won't soon be around anymore to gaze awkwardly at her reddish (redish?) beauty. Hmmm, that makes her sound like she has some unfortunate rashes. That's not really what I was shooting for. Nor was I intending for it to sound like G. Willikers is dressing up in black face a la' 'Soul Man'. Nevermind. I amuse me.

The Most Racially Insenstive And Comically Deprived Movie Since Birth Of A Nation: Oh What A Toy Store!

Aaron did Ben and I the favor of scalping us both for the usual fee of "free". So my flowing Damon-esque (I wish) locks are a thing of the past. And the jar-head look is in. At least for the next few weeks, since my hair grows faster than Kirstie Alley's thighs. It'll be at a managable length by Christmas. You know, the Christmas that my mother will be in Santa Fe for. She claims that since 5/7ths of the city is called SANTA, then it makes it ok. I pretend not to understand her at all. Ever. And I have to see her Friday night too?? I'm already all crazied out at this point. Anyway, Christmas. Yeah. So at this point I'm loosely trying to figure out what everyone's plans are around the holidays. I still plan on sending out a big e-mail to people to try to map this out a little better, but since I know some of you break out in hives over the thought of responsible e-mail communication (*ahem* ROY *ahem*), I'm mentioning it here first. I'll be at my mother's over the holiday for a few days and plan on having a get-together of undetermined size for all those that'll be home. I know it's impossible to include everyone, but the more the better. I also know the guys always seem to be much more willing than the girls, what with the girls always being sidelined by such imposing obstacles as "food", "tv", "shoes being taken off", "laziness", "blueberry buckle", etc. You all know who you are. Anyway. I think it'd be fun, and a lot less cheaper than a bar. Plus, we can actually talk to each other and hear what the other people are saying. Although it does dramtically decrease the chances of any of us running into some hilariously perverse person from our past. And yes Jimbo, I realize that is the kind of shit you live for. But take it from R.J. Morten, those things have been happening with alarming regularity lately. And it's not even fucking Thanksgiving yet for god sakes. For those of you that were at Goodfellas last year, I'm sure I don't need to remind you of the infamous line of someone who shall remain namless (thanks to the powers of fucking Google): "What, you're all too good to have your ol' pal [censored] buy you a drink?!" So yeah, it seems you people are getting less scared of the comment section, so please feel free to let me know what you're looking at for the holiday picture. Unless you're one of the girls who has CommentSectionPhobia. Oh wait - that's almost all the girls.

So yeah, packed weekend. Tim & Jackie's "soiree" tomorrow night, working all day Saturday, maybe going out for belated birthday fun with Jeff Saturday night, and then Hayley's big 21st on Sunday. I tried to convince Secret Crush when we were down there tonight that Hayley would be throwing back quite a few Vodka/Red Bulls. But hardy har har, we all know Hayley doesn't like Red Bull. And guess what's on the menu at Hal-Y's party? Mexican. Vegan Mexican at that. Mmmmmmm, more beans and pencil shavings than I can shake a meat stick at. Man. Secret Crush didn't even mention my hair cut. She must hate it. Sigh. Now I have to get to Aaron's, sweep up the clippings, and glue them back on. What I do for unrequited love.

Yeah - and LOST? I have no fucking clue anymore. That cable Sayid found in the sand? What the fuck is that connected to? A fucking beluga whale/electric eel hybrid? You know - on this show - I wouldn't be fucking surprised at all. But I still love it. And I don't know if I mentioned that I purchased and devoured Arrested Development Season 1 DVDs. Because I did. And I suggest you devour them as well. They're tasty. If not a bit plastic-y tasting. Season 2 is already in full swing. And did I finally convert Ricky over to the wonderful world that is Alias? Yes. Yes, I did. And they announced recently that Alias, when the 4th Season debuts in January, will start airing right after LOST on Wednesday nights. Holy J.J. Abrams block of quality mind-fucking televison Batman!

Alright, the batmobile has lost a wheel and the Joker's getting away. So I must flee as well.

It's been real,

Cardboardy Silverback

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2002 - 2009 ZQF8

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