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I Stole Your Peanut M&M's

2004-10-18 - 11:25 a.m.

Mood: Loving The Freedom Of Not Having To Take Customers' Shit With A Smile Anymore

Listening To: The Name Of This Band Is Talking Heads

Quote:"$1000 for each sneaker?! Dem's some golden feet." - Zach, on Schilling's new footwear

Oh my. Much ground to cover and not a lot of time to cover it.

Firstly, Hannah & Brian's wedding. Shall we? Let's go.

A Step By Step Guide To Hamna & Brain's Wedding
By: Ben Walden - Age: 26

#1. In typical fashion, we cut it as close to being late to the wedding as possible. Well, that's not true. Actually, we could have just been flat out late. As I was to my cousin Kristen's wedding, and KP's wedding. Plus, if you need a surprise party that needs blowing, give me a call. Anyway, here we have Julie, Rich, and myself quickly walking from the car to the wedding. I saw a pigeon. I like pigeons.

#2 Here comes the bride! Escorted by her dad. They seem awfully serious here, but just you wait - they'll be swing dancing soon enough! [Shhhh! You're ruining the big surprise! - Zach] That was supposed to be a big surprise? [Well, not anymore. - Zach]

#3. Here's Hamna & Brain entering the greenhouse where the reception was held! It had high ceilings. [Perhaps I should interject something here. On the way to the wedding, Ben messed up on the wedding card he was giving Hannah and Brian. He handed it to Julie and me and said, "Look at that. I messed up on Brian's 'r' and it looks all weird since I tried to write it in cursive." I told him, "Well, it's not just the 'r' that looks weird. You also spelled Brian as 'Brain'." Before Ben could react, Rich looks at the envelope and says, "You also left the second 'H' off of Hannah." And Julie adds, "And because of the cursive, you actually wrote 'Hamna', not Hanna." So see, now you understand. Now you understand. - Zach]

#4. Hamna & Brain enjoy their first dance! They are groovetastic. We also all got candles at our tables with our names inscribed on each one. They spelled my name wrong. It said, "Benjamine". Zach, Rich and Julie thought this was hilarious and said it was "Instant Karma." They smell.

#5. The Best Man's toast to the happy couple! Notice the former Kim White, now Kim Lynch! She's pregnant with Tom's love child! Although . . . I guess it's not a love child if you're married. You can also see Brenda, who we hung out with at the Common Man quite some time ago, but I not know how to link things so Zach will have to do it. [ See April '03 - Zach] And doesn't it look like Paul is scheming something in his seat? I think so.

#6. It's not a good angle, I know, but here it is: Hamna and her dad swing dancing for their father/daughter dance! Awwwww.

#7. Aren't Rich and I sexy bitches? I think so. [Yeah, despite the fact that you seem to be stealing your moves from Johnny Castle. - Zach]

#8. Awww, what respective glows! The bridal glow and the Matron of Honor/Expectant Mommy glow! Zach asked Kim if she was hiding a basketball under there and got slapped. Then he muttered something about, "at least Marshall will appreciate this." Whatever that means.

#9. Hooray! More dancing! This is my favorite picture. Caleb, (of the tree-climbing Calebs), Rich, Brain and Hamna's grandmother grooving out on the dance floor. And yes, that's Caleb's tie that grandma is shimmying about with.

#10. Zach claims that I look like I'm taking a shit on the dance floor when I'm dancing. I don't think that's true. Sure, maybe in this picture it kind of looks like that. But it was a one time deal. I swear. [ Except, you know, it's not. - Zach]

#11 Meanwhile, while we were all grooving, a crew of rascals, led by Tom, "decorated" Brain and Hamna's car but good. There were streamers and inappropriate drawings, and . . . seltzer water cans? What the-? [Hey now. We worked with what we had. - Zach]

We had a lot of fun. There was a really cool thing with sparklers at the end of the reception. But Zach didn't take any pictures of that. He's dumb. And the food was really good. And we all probably drank a little more than we should have, since I drove back to Dover, and Zach drove to Sanbornton and stayed at his Mom's. Oh yeah. And the Pats won their 19th straight. I love the Pats. And now, as of this writing, they've won their 20th. I like pigeons.

Thank you Ben, that was truly heartwarming. I think. Maybe heartworming. Yeah. That's it.

What else?? Ben and I went to the Donnie Darko Director's Cut (one night only!) at the Music Hall (after everyone else ditched out) and it was super fucking sweet. Definitely an improvement. Not that the first movie isn't good enough. But better special effects, more music, the excise of my least favorite line, more time for all the characters, and even extra "Chut ups!" for Charita. Special. So special. Especially when she orders the bloccori from Licky.

Also, it's been a Camtastic time lately. Not only because I got to baby-sit him a little while ago.

Exhibit A:

But Justin's been bringing him to the mall a lot lately. And HE CAN WALK AROUND WILLY NILLY! (see Exhibit D)

Exhibit B:

Exhibit C:

Exhibit D:

Exhibit E:

Man. Cameron is the bestest. And we celebrated his birthday at his party this last Saturday. Man, he had cake on every inch of his face. You can imagine how great those pics are, but Kate still needs to give them to me. [I do? - Kate] You do. I won't mention the Red Sox. Not yet.

And what's this? During all this strife and uncertainty? TC and Jackie have finally left San Fran and embarked across country (avoiding Cedar City one hopes) in their attempts to make it back to NH? Huzzah! That's so totally TC. He finally leaves San Fran, just as Yorick and Co. are settling in.

Rachel and I went and saw Rick's show last Friday in Franklin. The same place we saw them do Rocky Horror last June. This time it was Nunsense. It was very funny. Despite Rachel and I being about as non-Catholic as they come. Rick just finished watching Freaks and Geeks that I let him borrow, and you know he loved it, and this time I gave him Alias Season 1. I told him, "Come for the Jennifer Garner, stay for the Victor Garber & Ron Rifkin." What he doesn't know is that when I put Alias Season 1 in his car for him after the show, I also stole his peanut M&M's. Oh. Well I guess now he knows. Crap. Rick, if it makes you feel any better, they were very tasty.

And what's this? At the very last hour? When all hope was gone? Big Papi to the rescue? It would seem so. It would seem so. David Ortiz, you're not just my hero, you're the hero of baseball. Well, I take that back. You're not on 'roids, so I guess Barry Bonds is still the hero of baseball. And what's this? Justin is going to tonight's game? And every game Justin has gone to this season they've won? And who was in the midst of the near-riot outside of Fenway Park last night? I'll tell you who. HAYLEY. THAT'S RIGHT. HAYLEY. - the fuck?! Oh well, I think all this excitement has truly purged all that awful Lakers loving out of her and replaced it with the bleeding red of the Olde Towne Team. Red Sox, please win tonight. I'll be your best friend.

It's been real,


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