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Love In The Time Of Impetigo
2003-10-28 - 8:08 p.m.
Secret Word: Impetigo
Listening To: The Jayhawks, Coldplay, R.E.M.
Quote: "You say 'hooked on Ny-Quil' like it's a bad thing!" - Zach
Seriously though, I just can't shake this cold.
I can't. I tried to shuffle this cold off to Buffalo and I just can't.
And I think it's messing up my insides.
Well, the constant doses of Ny-Quil are what's really to blame. That and random screwdrivers. They have orange juice. Orange Juice is good for a cold. But it makes my face super hot. So the vodka and ice off-set the face-hotness. I think.
We all know my dreams are about as fucked up and quacktacular as dreams get. Just mention "Zach" and "dreams" in the same sentence and you will get a record setting arc of fear pee from one F. W. Robie. But lately, with all the Nyquil, I have been off my Morphasuedical rocker.
First I had to battle it out with this roller-skating ninja chick with big pink sunglasses (who, it goes without saying, was Asian) in order to get into the gates of Lakeport. But Lakeport has no gates you say. Well, they did in my dream. They were on the Sweaterville side of the dam. She had some nasty moves and we fought all Matrix-y for a long time. And then she told me if I just admitted that I had a crush on her she'd let me in. I told her she didn't need to trick me, and that I did have a crush on her. And she punched me in the mouth.
The next night I found the very last envelope in all the world. His name was Jerky. And he was worth a million dollars. Everyone was looking for him. I hid him so no one else could find him. Later, I awoke from my Ny-Quil and screwdriver induced slumber pissed off, not that it was all a dream, but that I couldn't remember where I hid Jerky.
The next night I had a baby. A girl. Well, I didn't have the baby. My wife did. She looked just like Michelle Roy. But it wasn't Michelle Roy. The baby was named Susan Carols and I don't remember the baby's last name. But I remember my Michelle Roy looking wife (whose name I also don't remember) gave the baby HER last name, which I was pissed off about. And I was pissed because what kind of a middle name is "Carols"? And Jon Leahy was there (we were having our wedding reception the same day the baby was born) and I was complaining to him that now I couldn't go on my honeymoon, since the baby needed to be cared for. He told me I should've "played my cards better." Then we all painted bowling balls for the Arts & Crafts portion of the reception. Because apparently I had an Arts & Crafts portion at my reception. My "wife" and "child" and I moved into 145 Holman, and all I remember about this part of the dream, the end of it, was that the fridge was stocked with whole milk (for the baby) and I was pissed because I like 1%.
Seriously. I need to get better. And I need a new computer monitor. And Ben is convinced we can get a good deal on a computer at Cheapo Depot or some such place because they're Nuts About Their Customers.
I'm tired and I'm glad I don't have impetigo.
But I'd feel better if Coral had lost the Gauntlet last night on Challenge. Even if Mike is her homie.
It's been real,
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