2009-08-17 - On Our Next Episode . . .
2009-06-12 - RetroReflectionReaction
2009-04-13 - The Me Decade
2009-03-03 - Super Powered Sounds #3
2009-03-02 - Super Powered Sounds #2QUOTES! V.1QUOTES! V.2QUOTES! V.3QUOTES! V.4
A Fireside Chat With The People's Champion
2003-07-22 - 11:11 a.m.
Listening To: The Cars, Jane's Addiction
Quote:"I vote for clitori." - Justin and Zach for once in agreement about something
We're sitting down with Justin of GoJustinGo fame and speaking with him about his recent wrestling match that ended not only in victory, but apparently christened him "Lord Master of the Internet" as well. What are ya gonna do? Well, let's talk to Justin and find out where he's at after such a life-altering event!ZQF8: I won't be on again until after 10:30
ZQF8: so wanna do interview now?
JpoCorleone: shoot, my negro
ZQF8: before we go - u must know that the only two words I will censor are the N and JC word
ZQF8: and I don't mean nicompoop and jeezum crow
ZQF8: jes chr
ZQF8: I not use it
ZQF8: we ready?
JPoCorleone: that makes interesting
ZQF8: We're sitting here with Justin . . . wait. Which Justin you gonna be for this interview? There's a lot of "different Justin's" you see to employ.
ZQF8: hello? why you take so long to answer me?
JPoCorleone: this is the justin that's all "I wanna use blasphemy, but Z is too much off a goody goody choir boy PUSSY!"-- This is the Variant figure in the pack, BTW
ZQF8: this not hard question - it not even an official question yet
ZQF8: well well well
ZQF8: listen Mr. Fuck Cock Shit Ass MotherMonkeyCunt, I am ALL FOR USING VULGARITY
ZQF8: I just won't use the N word and JC
ZQF8: I hardly think that makes me a prude or puritan by most people's standards
ZQF8: see - look how we've started this off? We're already fighting.
JPoCorleone: So if I say, for instance "Man, I wish my [African-American] [Son of God] would stop by more often", you wont use it, even though it implies that [the Son of God] is an old pal of mine?
ZQF8: you got it
ZQF8: though I will use that quote
JPoCorleone: I'm confused
ZQF8: but i will just substitute the N and JC words with better words
ZQF8: like "African-American"
JPoCorleone: like there ARE any...
ZQF8: but I will say Jesus Christ in that way
ZQF8: I am not AGAINST saying the name
ZQF8: just in an "in vain" way
JPoCorleone: you sho7ld use "Racial slur for African American"
ZQF8: I sho7ld, but I will not
ZQF8: shall we start again?
JPoCorleone: i thought this was a rousing start
ZQF8: so far this is gold
ZQF8: 46 karat Stupid Gold
ZQF8: but still Gold
JpoCorleone: carry on then
ZQF8: so, seriously, which Justin won the big fight this last weekend?
JPoCorleone: Justin Powers now lords over the internet, with an iron fist. And by Iron fist, I mean crappy mouse
ZQF8: I remember I saw the phrase "iron fist" for the first time on the poster for Naked Gun 2 1/2. I loved that movie
JPoCorleone: Anything with OJ = BOX OFFICE GOLD
ZQF8: OJ makes my face hot
JPoCorleone: blood will do that
ZQF8: now, where was this fight? how did winning said fight make you "lord of the internet", as you so humbly put it?
JPoCorleone: This fight was in New Jersey, the name of the town escapes me at this point.
ZQF8: let's call it "Sludgeville"
JPoCorleone: I'm pretty sure it was something like "Assmunch"
ZQF8: ooh, that's good too
JPoCorleone: Assmunch, Sludgeville, theyíre all in the same area code
ZQF8: so, who sponsored this fight?
ZQF8: I'm trying to gently steer you into explaining how winning this fight made you lord of the internet.
ZQF8: now not-so-gently
JPoCorleone: This Fight was govereved under the auspicies (sp?) of the Cyber Space Wrestling Federation..... A promotion that I SWEAR I am not making up.
ZQF8: I believe you. Though I don't trust others will. Thatís why Iíll put a link to it . . . HERE when this sees print
JPoCorleone: as you can imagine, being the INTERNET champion of a promotion that boasts itself the Wrestling Promotion of CYBER SPACE carries a lot of power
ZQF8: I will try to include some pictures of the behemoth you faught
JPoCorleone: yes, the guy i "faught" was quite large
ZQF8: oh my god
ZQF8: brain cramp
JPoCorleone: Mr. English Major
ZQF8 : fought
ZQF8: ok ok
ZQF8: i'm all man now
JPoCorleone: excluding the vagina I presume
ZQF8: yes, yes, excluding the vag, of course
ZQF8: I canít help it, it was the New Hampshire accent
JPoCorleone: only.... you don't HAVE a NH accent
JPoCorleone: so, there's that
ZQF8: shhhh, what will my farmer ancestors with hooks say?!
ZQF8: the ancestors, not the hooks
ZQF8: so, there's that
ZQF8: so, to recap - you beat this elephant of a man at the Cyber Space Wrestling Thing and thus become Lord of the Internet
ZQF8: so where do we go from here? Do any of us who use the internet on a daily basis get any say in the matter?
JPoCorleone: well the technical term is "World Internet Champion", but I figure it's all the same ball of waz.... ewwww ball of wax.... But I digress.... things to look forward to in the near future include an all nude Olsen Twins site, amongst other things
JPoCorleone: cause let's face it, they are FUCKING HOT
ZQF8: they are
ZQF8: and it's almost legal for us to say that now I believe
ZQF8: shame that Stephanie Tanner was forced into a world of illicit drugs and cheap sex
ZQF8: (that was your set up to say, "How Rude!")
JPoCorleone: it's legal to say, as long as you are not planning on a home invasion to make these dreams come true, which, for the record, I am NOT
JPoCorleone: I was getting to it
JPoCorleone: but i type slow
ZQF8: sure you were
ZQF8: there is a sign on your street that says "Caution: Justin"
ZQF8: oh man, it's like i got Bruce Vilanch writing jokes for me here
JPoCorleone: too many concussions . . . where are my keys again?
ZQF8: anyway, so you're Lord of The Internet - what about these pop-up ads? and that damn university of Phoenix?! and those monkeyfuckers at Classmates.com? And I want chocolate milk Not Just On Friday, BUT EVERY DAY!
JPoCorleone: other than his name being about 12 points in scrabble, what does Vilanch have to do with it?
ZQF8: and I have no idea what "Mildred" means
ZQF8: Bruce Vilanch is that crappy flamingly queer joke writer for Whoopi "I wasn't even funny back when I was funny" Goldberg
ZQF8: so the internet? whatcha gonna do?
JPoCorleone: These pop up ads are what make people go see awful movies... like that new fucking J-Lo abortion... whatever it's called.... the pop ups carry subliminal messages
JPoCorleone: so obviously, action must be taken
JPoCorleone: I think the first thing we should do is kill Ben Affleck
JPoCorleone: the rest, well, it takes care of itself, doesn't it?
ZQF8: but he's so adorable in those car insurance ads!
JPoCorleone: *wipes hands*
JPoCorleone: That's a gecko, Zach
ZQF8: and I think the movie you're thinking of is "Gigli"
ZQF8: there's a poster for the movie on the Coke machine at the mall - they're really canvassing the country for this one
JpoCorleone: they could at least put Jigglypuff in the thing for those who read phoneticaly
ZQF8: I like geckos
ZQF8: or Mr. Mime for people who like Mr. Mime . . . ha ha, I'm just kidding - no one likes Mr. Mime.
JPoCorleone: and bulbasaur cause he FUCKING KICKS ASS!
ZQF8: fine fine - bulbasaur too
ZQF8: any others so you can get it out of your system?
ZQF8: pick any one
JPoCorleone: gimme a while, I'll work them in
ZQF8: as long as it ain't psyduck
ZQF8: ok, Lord of the Internet
ZQF8: let's do some word association
ZQF8: real quick like
ZQF8: so i'm gonna need you to type more than your 20 words / 5 minutes
JPoCorleone: oh wait, have we started yet?
ZQF8: no - it'll be fun - i promise
ZQF8: here we go
JpoCorleone: feets don't fail me now
ZQF8: The Hulk
ZQF8: Ted Dibiase
ZQF8: Cheese Pizza
JPoCorleone: sinfully good
JPoCorleone: a crime
ZQF8: The G. Willikart
JPoCorleone: heaven- IN REVERSE!
ZQF8: The Death of Maude Flanders
JPoCorleone: Ned's coming out party
ZQF8: Ben Folds
ZQF8: Ben Folds Five
JPoCorleone: I miss you
ZQF8: (awww, me too)
ZQF8: RC Pro-Am
JPoCorleone: hours of my youth I'll never get back
ZQF8: Quantum Leap
ZQF8: The Iron Shiek
JPoCorleone: no match for Hitmonlee
ZQF8: King Hippo
ZQF8: blond girls
JPoCorleone: are we there yet?
ZQF8: Paulie Walnuts
JPoCorleone: he loves his momma
ZQF8: the Fabulous Moola
JPoCorleone: the gal of my dreams, if I was 53 years old
ZQF8: General Zod
JPoCorleone: poor bastard doesn't have a chance to be normal
ZQF8: Taco Bell
JPoCorleone: yummy for a place that willingly employs retards
ZQF8: NewsRadio (tread lightly . . .)
JPoCorleone: makes me miss Kids in the Hall, and Lionel Hutz
ZQF8: (I said I wasn't gonna cry, I said I wasn't gonna cry . . .)
ZQF8: Milhouse Van Houten
JPoCorleone: Big Wheel
ZQF8: ok, last one - you get to pick it and respond to it
JPoCorleone: I pick Dennis Miller
JPoCorleone: and my response? WHY??! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!??!?!?!? YOU FUCKING PRICK! I BELIEVED IN YOU!!!!
ZQF8: any last words for your new internet subjects?
JPoCorleone: I hope that in the midst of the 7559 tangents that Zach goes on in an entry full of people you've never heard of, places you'll never go, and things that may or may not exist, you are able to recognize that I am now, and forever, your champion. Until someone else gets to pretend to beat me for a fake belt that means nothing. Thank you.
ZQF8: if I wasn't already crying over the phil hartman reference from above, that would've brought a tear to my eye
JPoCorleone: you say that to all the boys
ZQF8: It's true
ZQF8: Thank you Justin. Thank you for leading us . . . for doing . . . um, thank you for . . . for being our Champion!
ZQF8: ok - all done
ZQF8: THE END
ZQF8: now that we've conquered the interview we get to watch the credits roll by with all the funny sounding Japanese names!
JPoCorleone: can you make like 7 best boys?
ZQF8: I can do whatever I want
ZQF8: but only one key Grip
ZQF8: that's where I draw the line
JPoCorleone: Best Boy, Better Boy, Bestest Boy
ZQF8: night night J-Po
ZQF8: it's been real
ZQF8: (. . . Oooh - you meant OJ as in OJ Simpson! He doesn't make my face hot . . . well, maybe a little)
It's been real,
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