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Losing My Stomach Lining And Other Short Stories

2002-09-04 - 11:34 p.m.

So yeah. My stomach lining is going the way of Carvel Ice Cream shops. Outtahere. Porquoi? Well, maybe because I've been peppering my insides with a yummy combination of Advil, Aleve, Tylenol, Tylenol Cold & Flu, Tylenol Sinus, and of course, my old favorite - Sinutab! I went to bed at 8:30 last night! 8:30!! I don't think I've gone to bed that early since The Fall Guy! And I had to get up EVERY two hours to feed my gullet more pills. I woke up almost like clockwork as the pain in my head came pounding back. And the monstrous Earth-shaking thunderstorm this morning was just the dessert I needed after that 8-course meal of pills. Wow. I couldn't WAIT for my first class.

No talking of class until everything is finalized. So that's it for now on that.

But seriously, did I mention the pain in my head? At first I thought it was just sinus pressure on my teeth. So I took some tylenol and benadryl that Kelly scrounged up while we were in Wells on Sunday. And then I promptly passed out on the beach. (and there was even a rumor floating around that pictures were taken) Later, Abby felt bad enough for me to offer some Tylenol Sinus gelcap thingys to me. It all dulled the pain for a while, and with the combination of the copius amounts of beer we polished off playing 3-Man, I thought I was fine. I was not. I was still in pain the next morning. And I am still in pain now. And now I am thinking that it has something to do with my wisdom teeth. I don't think they're impacted, but they may be infected or something. That'll teach me to eat asbestos. Marianne said she thinks I'm teething. I think she may be right. Argh.

A note on 3-Man. Ben and Jimbo didn't know their own names by the time we were done 3-Man, due to being the 3-Man for most of it. Of course, I wasn't exactly in "good shape", thanks to Liz's rule of every time a double was rolled (which is A LOT) "Boys drink!", which was yelled out each time. Sigh. And there was something, a double 7 perhaps, that resulted in the roller to perform "I'm a little teapot!" Kelly, Liz and I stayed just briefly in the House of the 3-Man and Abby was a lucky enough bastard to avoid it entirely. I think she was using trick dice. I wouldn't put it past her.

I am so old. I don't want to go to school anymore. Tim & Ben were right, I AM a stinking Non-Trad now. The girls are so young that I feel like an 80's rock band has-been at Meadowbrook and they are my audience. Wait, that analogy didn't work. I feel like Jeff Goldblum and they are Geena Davis. I don't even know what that means. Nevermind. These pills are making me wonkier than usual. ("What is this word 'wonky'? - Mom)

The drugs (by which I mean the above mentioned ones, no other) are fucking up my dreams too! And if anyone knows anything about how my dreams are normally, then they know that's saying something. Last night I dreamt I was bleeding all over my body in my room on Holman St., so I went into my parent's room and told them to wake up, that I was bleeding. My Mom sighed loudly and dramtically and rolled over and my Dad got up and started wiping me off with paper towels and toilet paper, but I was bleeding too much for him to keep up with it. When I went back into my room the floor was covered in broken glass. Creepy huh? Later, I was in a dark diner with Chad and Mackenzie and a shitload of other people. They were still in the wedding clothes and Mackenzie seemed really pissed off. I asked her what was wrong and she just scowled at me. So I walked over to Jon Leahy and Randall's table (of course) and asked them if they knew what was wrong with Mackenzie and Jon just stared at me and said "You, of all people, should know." There was this other part about a parking garage and being in Europe but the details are sketchy. Sigh. It's only gonna be worse tonight. I should auction off what's left of my stomach lining on eBay.

Simpsons are on in the background and Carl just said "A possum capering around like that would be a smash hit!" I love Carl. He can always cheer me up.

Well, it's time for me to go chew on pills and not do homework in the book I don't have because I don't have the money to buy it. All you sexy dowagers make donations to Z.Q.F., 1018 Lilac Lane, Dover, NH.

It's been real,

Solomon O'Sullivan

ps - "BOYS DRINK!!!"

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2002 - 2009 ZQF8

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