2002-05-09 - 11:59 a.m.

Bear with me please - It's Thursday. And it's raining. And a Bud Light and two Cherry Wheats later. . .

So Mark Greene is dead. Oh well. It's nothing that some vodka & vicodin can't cure. Me-ow. No, no, it was sadder than I thought it would be. I only wish Mark was this entertaining the last few seasons and not the Sadsack McGrouchy he turned into. Oh well. It was all worth it to see Abby in mourning. She is HOT when she's mourning.

Tonight, on a "Wallakers!" to cherish, a hero falls, panic breaks out at FRM, and a hero will unite them all, and one ring will bind them . . .or something. Anyway, the hero that fell, the original Pigpen Champion (but highly undignified Pass the Pigs loser) Kate "more cheese please" Bedford worked her last Thursday night with me for the forseeable future. It was a momentous affair, that at least our stomachs will remember for years to come. It's not just ANY staff departure that is celebrated with (hold on to your hats): Vanilla & Strawberry Shakes, Cheez-its, Hudd-in-a-hurry Chocolate Chip Cookies, FRENCH FRIES (WITH "CHEESE PACK DIP" SAUCE) and SPIDER-MAN FLAVA-ICE!!!! Yes, it was definitely one for the record books. But like a muskrat that just doesn't know when the roadkill has been picked clean, ol' KB (not toys) will be working one more time tomorrow. A time when our shifts, and Cheez-its, will overlap. So, you know, if you are feeling charitable, swing on by and throw some Lindt chocolate balls at her. She'll be glad you did.

"Kaaaate, Zaaaach!" [I can HEAR our arteries clogging]

So yeah. The Red Sox are at the cliche'-sounding record of 24-7. I love my Sox. Grady Little may not have the Jimy Williams-isms on his side, but he's doing a fine job in my book. I'm glad that he's FINALLY paying attention to ol' Brian "Don't underestimate my hang-dog expression for I will turn on you and rip your face off like a pit bull bred for fighting" Daubach. That Daubach. He may look like someone left him out in the rain past expiration date but I still love him. He may not kiss the babies that Nomar does, and pitch the lobster rolls that Pedro does, but he's still my favorite.

"Don't mistake my unsightly snarl for love. It is cold raw hatred."

Well, Jimbo the Jambone is coming up tomorrow for the Blackalicious/Jurassic 5 concert. Should be fun. I will be at Wallakers all day tomorrow questioning if I will stay there for the summer. Maybe I can get a job for Razorback this summer. I have two good references, that's for sure. Granted, I wouldn't be doing it *exactly* for the sake of science. Well, scientific curiosity I guess. It's just like what they said about Mary Tyler Moore - she can take an ordinary day and make it all seem worthwhile. . .

It's been real,

Samuel "Left Eye" Gompers

ps - When asked to leave the Wallakers (aka - "County General") with some poignant words of wisdom for future generations, Kate Bedford, after about 45 minutes of mulling it over, spat out the following: "I don't like anything that's not a real banana."

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