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Green Turtle Shell On That Ass!

2002-04-27 - 12:07 a.m.

"Karma Police - I've given all I can - It's not enough." - Radiohead

So, we're just minutes into Peter's 24th birthday, and so far, things are going swimmingly. Remind me never to work a Friday night again. They are about as much fun as Gonorrhea. Tonight was a special night at work as not only did Wobbly make the scene, but Jonathon pledged his love to Kate and asked her to the prom. (Sorry Fred, you didn't move fast enough, and now Jonathon's heart belongs to another. . .)

"You took a trip - And climbed a tree - At Robert Sledge's party - And there you stayed - Till morning came - And you were not the same after that." - Ben Folds

Ok, but seriously. I think I've come down with 24 hour Diabetes. Don't laugh. It's true. No thanks to Sugary McHuddInAHurry, tonight at work we dined on chocolate chip cookies, Belgian Chocolate (including Napoleon, Satan, Millionaire, and of course Pharaoh), Starburst (with mystery Clamato flavor - yup, it's THAT gross), AND ANNABELLE'S VERY CHERRY CHIP (courtesy of IAMSAM herself). So, pretty much, I'll be up until Steph arrives in the morning bright-eyed, british, and bushy-tailed for work. Argh.

Motto: "Goat-fuckingly gross in four different sizes!"

Listen, I know I live in N'ampsha, but seriously, 90 degrees to blizzard in like 3 days? As the great Coco Bandicoot says: "NOT COOL." Hmmmmm, speaking of Coco, that asshole-puncher Rick still has my copy of CTR. I want that back. For the selfish reason of being able to hear "Here you go!", "Coming through!", "The trophy's mine!" and of course Penta Penguin exclaiming "Netanyahu!". I miss the days of Coty and I reaming Fred out about how he was going to get "banned from the game for life" for "picking"! And Fred claiming that Coty and I cheated just as much for "being better" than he was. I don't miss playing MARIO KART with those fools though. I STILL have nightmares involving Coty dive bombing me with Star Invincibility on that damned Ice Stage I couldn't do shit for. But I ruled the dirt track. And it STILL freaks me out when I recall our reaction the first time we came upon a stationary turtle shell. "Green turtle shell on that ass!" and of course "Mr. Postman."


"Do you remember all our love? - Did you get back from what you gave? - I see some symptoms of - A past that you forgave - You never were expendable - You always made me feel alive - And now we're in the middle of - A transition in our lives." - Buckcherry

So here's a fun thing. How about Chad keeps having super fun magical happy time parties and makes sure to schedule them when Zach has to be at G. "Wait, so the sale is storeWIDE?" Wallakers. Damn Fox Run Mall! My brain is so evenly cut down the middle into 2 sections. The half that hates the mall and all the crapitude that comes with it, and the half that yearns for Sweet Factory's Spider-Man display and blind lawyers. Ok, Codey McCode, ease off.

"Water make the River - River want the Mountain - Fire make the Sunlight - Turn the world around - Heart is of the River - Body is the Mountain - Spirit is the Sunlight - Turn the world around." - Harry Belafonte & The Muppets

So I'm happy for the Celtics. I am glad they are 2-0 against Allen "Dorf" Iverson and his Spirit of "76ers". Celtics - Playoffs - it's Reganomics all over again. . .

I am so incredibly broke. Like super broke. Like I couldn't rub two I.O.U.'s together. And I'm going to the 6 Million Dollar wedding next weekend. And rent is due at the same time. And bills. And I still don't know where I'm going to live. Stressful Stressful Stressful. And people - don't think I wouldn't MUCH RATHER be living in Boston, NYC, or California - but I have to finish school. Don't think I don't wish I couldn't have done it in under 10 years like a NORMAL person. But I'm not normal. I'm at the back of the line on picture day (fighting it out with Ryan Pelchat, Tim, and Brian Livingston), I'm the last to sit down at the restaurant, and I'm always the last in the door at the party. Never first. Man, you'd think Bud Light had gotten me in ENOUGH trouble LAST weekend. . .

"You gave me a Pet Name - Which is not to say I like it - We met at a party - Not to say I was invited." - They Might Be Giants

Because you know what's fun? Getting in a fight with your friend while you're at work. MORE than ONCE during a shift. That's fun. I don't care if you're in the back room where no one can hear you or not. It's just fun. Fun that is funny. Not really having parents to fight with anymore, it's always nice to stay in practice and not get too rusty. That's why I thank God that I'm still friends with Brooke, Tim Curtis, and Monique. They keep me in fine form (although Monique and Tim, two Titans of Arguosity in the Golden Era, seem to have gotten soft in their old age). But to end this minor note - I would get in a LOT LESS fights with my friends (which I hardly even DO anymore, in comparison with the old days) if they would ever realize the time-tested concept of a "TWO-WAY STREET". There. I've said my peace.

"'Cause this is MY United States of Whatever - And this is MY United States of Whatever!" - Olly

Now, I promised something in honor of Pedro's big day and I plan on delivering. I have a picture to share with all you cats and kittens out there in not-quite-TV-Land. This picture was taken in, if I trust my guesstimate, the Winter of '93/'94. I could be wrong, but a.) Jeff still has his glasses and b.) Keith is THERE, so I'm pretty sure, no I'm positive, this is pre-Surfcoaster. Anyway. The picture was taken by me with the three of them posing on the snowbanks in the Burger Parking Lot with Winnipesaukee(and where the Summer Docks would be) behind them. So this is my little online birthday present to Peter - A picture deemed so racy by the gruesome twosome Dave Rea and Mina Ayers that it was banned from the Graduation Day slide show. Here you are: "Jeff, Peter, and Keith in 'Fast Food Winter Wonderland'."

Happy Birthday Pedro. . .

How did I start this entry right after midnight, and now it is 1:45? I get distracted easily. What? Anyway. . .

"Falling, falling - Gonna drop like a stone - I'm falling through the atmosphere - On a warm afternoon - If lovers discover that everyone dies - So don't tell me - Please hold me - It's a dangerous life." - Talking Heads

It's been real,


ps - I remember getting Peter the Metallica "Black Album" for I THINK his 15th Birthday. The CD was bought at Greenlaws and came in one of those long thin cardboard boxes that CD's first came in. God. I am so fucking old.

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