join my Notify List and get email when I update my site:
Powered by

Get your own
 diary at! contact me older entries newest entry

2009-08-17 - On Our Next Episode . . .

2009-06-12 - RetroReflectionReaction

2009-04-13 - The Me Decade

2009-03-03 - Super Powered Sounds #3

2009-03-02 - Super Powered Sounds #2

Click Here For Tasty Popsicles . . . or, you know, a Random Entry






Spina Bifida

2002-04-18 - 1:11 a.m.


Let me start by saying this. You could run trains by the exquisite schedule that Wildcat Transit runs on. They are one professional organization. Next time you're in town, check 'em out, tell 'em Zach sent you. And then stick a screwdriver in their collective necks. [NOTE: I not very fond of Wildcat Transit right now. Can you tell?]

Seriously, ship me to the New England Aquarium baby, cause now I walk like a fuckin' penguin. (I'm paraphrasing *slightly* there) I have walked all over good God's green Earth this past 24 hours. Fortunately, it's been sweatastically warm out, so even last night, whilst hoofin' it from the great Dimond Library to New Meadows it was a nice night for a hayride. But there were no hayrides around, so I settled for walking. My thanks go out to McLaughlin in 29 Palms, Brad (for listening to my mad road-side rantings every 13 minutes, especially when The Nothing was closing in on me and there I was without a Luck Dragon in sight), and who could forget those scamps in Room #124? I wish I could (and yet Otto must never forget). So yes, I made it home ok (and without any help from the slumbering giant that's for sure).

Ok, ok. Enough coded walky talky. It feels like summer already. Which partly makes me happy. But since my living arrangements are still totally up in the air it also makes it very stressful. But just like the last few mid-Springs I pop ol' Remain In Light into the bathroom stereo and things seem to be a bit better. . .

"Sometimes the world has a load of questions/

Seems like the world knows nothing at all.

The world is near but it's out of reach/

Some people touch it...but they can't hold on."

-The Great Curve

This makes my brain bleed too much to keep talking about it. So I'll try to make it brief. After Forrest Gump-ing it home last night and not getting to bed until 1, I got up at 5 to shower, and go over Chinatown and my notes for our presentation this morning. I met with my group before class (or those in my group that showed up on time . . .or at all) and class started. After annoying hold-ups (i.e.-the DVD player's volume being all fucked up, the Double Indemnity group going on FOR SO LONG OVER THEIR ALLOTTED TIME LIMIT THAT IN ANOTHER REALITY I AM STILL BEING FORCED TO WATCH THEM {as well as The Mirror Has Two Faces}, etc.) our group FINALLY got to go up with 17 minutes left in class. Which made it extremly difficult to do our 45 minute presentation under these conditions. Call me persnickety but I was a little fuckin' bullshit. So 2 of the fence posts that pose as my group members talked about Narrative for about 15 minutes. Not only did they not include THE END OF THE FILM in their narrative explanation, but one of them (I'll call her Stupid Fucking Fence Post #1) kept calling the main character "Jack", which after the 19th consecutive time she said it, one of the professors butted in with "If I may, the main character's name is "JAKE", and the actor's name is "JACK" . . .continue." To which S.F.F.P. #1 replied "Same thing." Then I ripped her arm off and beat her with it (don't worry, I left her with another arm fully intact). The other dipshit (who, you guessed it, will be playing the part of Stupid Fucking Fence Post #2) kept refering to Jake as "J.J." (a name he is called ONCE in the film). Now, while that's better than Jack, it's a little bit like people refering to me as P.G. - 13. And, well, that'd be a little ridiculous wouldn't it?? So S.F.F.P. #2 then goes on to say (and I'm going to condense most of it here, as you would commit hari kari if you had to hear every last cranium-freezing word): "Chinatown, as a movie, is like one of those movies, that has lots of. . .details. Yeah, so there's a lot of stuff going on in this movie, and I think you'd all agree that if you like, fell asleep for 5 or 10 minutes during it and then woke up, it would be like, VERY hard to follow and catch-up. . .you know?" It was at this point that I ripped off S.F.F.P. #1's remaining arm and beat #2 with it. Hard. I know what you're thinking, but I figured, I've already crippled ONE person before 10 o'clock today, instead of crippling another, why not just maim the original one some more? So I did. Seemingly ignoring my dismembering/beatings the professor posed to #2: "Well I certainly hope you didn't see any of your fellow classmates falling asleep during the screening." To which Brainiac (#2's new name) replied by shooting his hand up and saying: "Guilty!". Not having any more limbs to dismember I just punched him in the back of the head. Really hard. Then the professor informed us we were out of time and the REMAINING SIX OF US COULD JUST GO ON. . .MONDAY. So, time marches on and Chinatown just WON'T LET GO OF ME. Oh how I wish "Forget it Jake, it's Chinatown" was the truth. Though personally, if we're picking Chinatown quotes, I'd go with: "'Course I'm respectable. I'm old. Politicians, ugly buildings, and whores all get respectable if they last long enough." - Noah Cross. Ahhh, and remember, this recounting was the BRIEF version.

So after that sinking ship/hindenburg/Dennis Rodman nuptials of a presentation I just wanted to go home and go to sleep on this beautifully ruined day. And it was only 10 o'clock. And for the 2nd time in less than 12 hours Wildcat Transit played the part of Jimmy and I played the part of goat ass. That's right - Bus didn't show up. Not wanting to "hang at da MUB", some evil force came over and MADE ME GET ON A BUS TO THE MALL. Argh. God, I am stupid. So I went to where all things are magical and dreamy - San Francisco Music Box Company. No, no, just kidding. G. Willikers! (Oh What a Toy Shop!). I was just planning on staying for about an hour or so, having lunch and leaving (as technically it was my DAY OFF). The next thing I know, I'm on the clock, a clipboard in my hand, and starring at a sea of blue Learning Curve boxes doing the Thomas the Tank Engine inventory. I was falling asleep as I did it and I think I started hallucinating due to lack of sleep because I could have sworn on three different occassions Skarloey whispered to me "I want to eat your brains." After that was said and done, I ate lunch, got on the Coast Bus (far superior to those mailboxheads at Wildcat) and walked from Central Ave to New Meadows (effectively raising enough pledges for my 18 mile walk-a-thon around the Seacoast in 24 hours to support finding a cure to the humiliating gym class spinal deformity known as Spina Bifida.)

"Mmmmm, me like tasty Zach brains."

Surprise, surprise - I'm tired. But I'm keeping the fact that I'm going to see Paul McCartney on Friday the spark that's keeping me going. After that, it's Chad's wedding and Spider-Man. After that. . .hmmmmm. Flag Day?

Tune in tomorrow kids same Bat Channel! Find out the next chapter "Les Foote's Gambit For Melissa Etheridge's Unattainable Love", find out about why I hate stretch Limos, find out how I got an entire radio show dedicated in my honor, find out why I prefer Blue Plastic Watering Cans over Green!

It's been real,

Freaky McQuoteJohnCougarMellancampAtTheSameTimey

0 comments so far

<-- Back to the Salt Mines! - Onward, to the Bee-Mobile! -->

2002 - 2009 ZQF8

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at!